Well hello to you my reader chums! Living with social anxiety hasn't been easy and with age, it's something I've learnt to deal with and improve over time. I'm a lot more comfortable in social situations now, and I think that's a mix of self-confidence and learning how to deal with social anxiety as a whole.

Whether you suffer from social anxiety or are have recently been diagnosed, here are the top 5 tips on how to deal with social anxiety.

Realising and understanding your triggers

With any form of anxiety, there is always something that triggers you off to feel anxious. As they say, anxiety isn't the cause, it's the symptom and that's why it's so important to realise what is triggering you, to help deal with your anxiety.

The best way to do this is that every time you feel anxious socially, note down when you started feeling anxious and the things that made you anxious. Then, you'll be able to tally up the things which are causing your anxiety and figure out ways to tackle this, and what you're able to do in those situations to make you feel better.

Gradually ease yourself into social situations

You're not going to be socially confident overnight, like with anything, dealing with social anxiety can take time. The first step with anything social is doing what you're comfortable with, whether that means only hanging out with your best friend or your mum. Then, from there, slowly give yourself the push. This could mean adding more people to the group to hang out with, saying yes to a big event, making that phone call, or speaking up in a meeting.

If you set yourself little goals regarding your social anxiety, gradually you'll build up the confidence to do things and be okay with socialising, and feel more comfortable with your anxiety and how to deal with it.

Plan as much as you can beforehand

Anxiety is all about staying in control and that's why planning and staying organised is one of the best things that can help you deal with anxiety. Obviously, when it comes to social anxiety, it's a lot harder to control what can happen and what the social situation will be like. However, there are things you may be able to plan beforehand which can help you stay in some level of control and potentially, not trigger off your anxiety.

For example, if you're planning to go out with friends, whether it's drinks or a meal, try and go somewhere that is familiar to you or a place that you've been to before. This way, you'll have the safety of something familiar and happy to you, that can help ease how you're feeling. You can plan an outfit that you're vibing in, bring someone along that'll make you feel comfortable or simply, read the menu before you head to the restaurant. Little things like this can put your mind at somewhat ease before you head out on your social venture.

Always have a code P plan

My friends and I came up with the 'code P' idea years ago where basically if we're on a bad date, we can text each other 'code P' and they will ring us to get us out of there asap. However, the same kind of principle can be applied here. With anxiety, it's always good to have a 'get out' plan for any type of anxiety as that way, you will feel safe. And with anxiety, it's so important to have that safe element.

With your social anxiety and the plans or things you're doing which will trigger you, you need to put things in place that'll be a 'code P' plan for you. This could be having someone to call to get yourself out of there, having a code word with your friends to know you're not comfortable, or simply driving to the venue so you always have a mode of transport to get home.

Praise yourself for your accomplishments

It's important to praise yourself with anything in life, especially when it comes to anxiety. Anxiety is hard to live with, it's a constant voice that questions everything you do, and that's why you need to be your own cheerleader for the little things. Smashed that phone call? Amazing. Didn't get panicky at a social gathering with friends? Well done. Went on a spontaneous date? You're incredible. All these things, you need to praise yourself, the same you would your best friend.

By praising yourself, it'll give you more confidence to push yourself with your social anxiety. And, over time, you'll then find yourself in situations you never thought you would be in. I used to be absolutely terrified of talking to new people, making phone calls, or ordering in restaurants. Now, these things come a lot more naturally to me as over time, I've built the confidence to do all of those things so they're not a big problem the way they once were. 

Time, praise, confidence, and determination will help you deal with your social anxiety. It's a long road but once you take the chance to try, you'll get better and better and I'm so proud of you for doing it. Anxiety is up and down and some days are harder than others, but always look back on the journey you've made and you'll realise how far you'd come.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my chums! Depression is a horrible illness and something that isn't easy to live with. Those living with it or recently diagnosed will understand the weight of it, carrying it around and knowing that depressive episodes could happen at any time, depending on your triggers.

If you struggle with depression and need some advice on looking after yourself in a depressive episode, here are my tips.

Praise yourself for the little things

When a depressive episode hits, getting out of bed can seem like an impossible task, that's why it's so important to talk positively to yourself. Celebrate the little things you're able to do, whether that's getting dressed, having a shower, or getting out of the house. The small boosts can really help push your mindset in the right direction.

Write a to-do list

This takes me onto my next point, writing a to-do list. A list may help you feel productive when all you want to do is not do anything. Your to-do list doesn't need to be extra or over the top, it could be a list of simple tasks to do in the day to keep you motivated and have something to focus on. This could give you the push you need to get on with something, and a way to care for yourself.

Put on real clothes

Cosy pyjamas and loungewear are all we want to sit in when we're unwell, however, putting on proper clothes can give you a sense of purpose for your day. Real clothes don't need to mean business attire, they could just be a pair of dungarees. It's about putting on an outfit that you feel like yourself in to make you feel some sense of okay in what you look like.

Distract your mind with something you enjoy

Being with your thoughts is the worst thing you can do in a depressive episode as it means they can spiral and get worst. This is why I'd advise you to distract yourself with something you enjoy that doesn't take too much concentration. For instance, it could be listening to a podcast, watching a film, reading a book, or colouring in. There are many things you could do but I always think, if it's something that brings you joy, it'll be the best choice. 

Try to get out and about if you can

Getting out of the fresh air is so important for your mental and physical health that when you're in a depressive episode, it can really be something that can help you in some way. If you're able to, try and get out of your house. It can be just to get some fresh air in your lungs or go outside for some exercise, whatever you're feeling up to. Fresh air and walking will do you the world of good.

Talk to someone

Living with depression is hard and can feel like the biggest weight on your shoulders so sometimes, it's helpful to share that weight. This is why when you're in one of those episodes, it's important to speak to someone, so you can release some of that weight. Talking to someone doesn't necessarily mean you want that person to help you, it's just a great way to release and have a listening ear.

Remind yourself of how far you've come

You are good enough, you are worthy and you've come so far. When you're in a depressive episode, as hard as it can be, it's important to try and remember your progress. Look back at the times you've overcome this obstacle and know you can do it again. Keep trying to remind yourself of that. Write that affirmation down and read it every morning and when you need the reminder.

Keep a journal to learn your triggers

Depressive episodes always have their triggers and it's important to be aware of yours so you know when you're going into another one. Being self-aware is one way to do this and that's why daily journalling your emotions can help you pinpoint your thoughts, feelings and therefore, help find your triggers.

Remember depression is an illness

Depression is an illness and I think a lot of us who suffer from that often forget it and shame ourselves for asking for help and saying we're feeling unwell as there is so much stigma around it. When you're in an episode, you need to remember this and look after yourself in the same way you do with the flu or a bug, like resting and eating well, the care is just as important.

Practise self-care

Self-care is incredibly important for your mental health in general, but even more, emphasis is on mental illness like depression. It's important to take the time to eat well, hydrate yourself, work out and do all the self-care steps in your day.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my reader chums! The Beekeeper of Aleppo has been raved about for a while and it's one of those books that tugged at all the emotions, and I adored it for so many different reasons. If you're looking for a new read that'll educate you and bring a tear to your eye, here's my full review of  The Beekeeper of Aleppo.

This post contains affiliate links.

Plotline

The book follows the story of Nuri a beekeeper and his wife, Afra, an artist. They both live in the Syrian city of Aleppo until the unthinkable happens and they have no option but to flee to safety. However, after Afra experiences something so terrible she goes blind, they must embark on a scary journey through Turkey and Greece towards an uncertain future in the UK.

As the couple travels through a broken world, they must face their own demons and an unspeakable loss as well as the dangers the world has in front of them, and many people in the same position as them. But, the hardest thing they both really have to face is connecting and finding each other once more after everything they've been through.

Characters and relationships

Characters always make a novel and this book is no different, and the biggest reason why I enjoyed it so much as I really connected with Nuri and Afra on a deeper level as I was reading. Nuri was a thoughtful, proud, and loving man and I could feel that by every word when he was telling the story and you just knew how much he loved his wife, his family, and his home, and how it took everything to walk away. It took courage, heartbreak, and a big knock on his mental health. What I enjoyed reading most about Nuri's character was the honest thought process of his mind and experiences, and how the loss of his son was shown through a harrowing take on the things he thought he was experiencing. It was heartbreaking to read but his strength was the most admirable thing to get him and his wife to safety.

Afra I also adored, she was a free spirit, loving wife, and doting mum and you could tell that from the off, that when she lost her son it was the end of her world, just like for Nuri. The pain she experienced isn't something I could ever imagine and that pain was written so beautifully in an honest way, a way the reader could relate to and understand. Their bond as a couple was everything as even when they were falling away from each other because of the trauma they faced, they still knew how much they loved each other and were hoping for the day that they'd come back together again.

The many refugees Nuri and Afra met along the way added layers to the story as I learnt about their experiences and how it adds the both Nuri and Afra, and really how big the unthinkable issue of fleeing your country is. The connections they made along the way made both characters stronger in how they were feeling and gave them the hope they needed.

Overall thoughts

Overall, I loved every part of this novel. It was one of those books that not only made me feel every emotion but really opened my mind and educated me on the world issues and how prominent it is that people are still fleeing countries because of war, there are many women that go through awful abuse and suffering, many children who are homeless and men who are trying to do anything to keep their families together. It's inhumane and awful and books like these are important in bringing the awareness to light. 

I loved how this book was split up from the past to present tense. It goes from Nuri and Afra in the UK back to their journey of getting there and how the two parts of the story intertwined, are cleverly written in a descriptive and honest account. This book also includes awareness around PTSD, child loss, sexual assault, and more which as hard as they are to read, help make readers realise the realism behind the novel and the reality of what is happening in the world. I loved learning the characters' journey and seeing above anything, their strength prevail through - and how the hope of Nuri's cousin Mustafa gave him every ounce of courage he needed to meet him in safety in the UK.

Ending

My heart broke at the ending, it left me feeling full of emotion and hope. Hope always wins against fear and this whole story showed the power of courage, determination, strength, and what you have to do to get by in desperation - and the ending pulls that together. I would 100% recommend this book to anyone, it's incredible in every way.

You can buy your copy here.

I hope you enjoyed this review! What are you reading at the minute?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Tis' the season; the time of festivities, fun, family, and friends. The Christmas period is an exciting time of social events, hearty food, and being appreciative of what we have. However, the fun season comes with pressures, stresses, and hard times too, life doesn't stop just because people are celebrating - and people struggle even more so in a time that's meant to be so happy. And of course, not everybody celebrates Christmas so it's important to take that into consideration too.

It's important to be mindful of everyone around you always, especially in the festive season - and care for yourself too. If you need some advice on how to take care of yourself or some tips, here are the best ways to look after yourself over the Christmas period.

This post contains affiliate links but all thoughts are my own.

Make the time for you

Alone time is the most important thing all year round but especially during a season that holds so much societal pressure. With lots of social events and a busy time to see people, it can be hard to have the time to sit with your thoughts or have that much-needed alone time, but not doing that, can really burn you out. Try and set some time aside each week to make that time for you. It can be an hour or so to watch your favourite show, read a book, or just sit there with your thoughts to reflect.

Get organised

Organisation is key to Christmas. I'm a bit of an organisational nerd and love to plan out all of my presents in advance so I have the time to shop around and find the best presents for each person. Etsy is my go-to place for presents as I love trying to support small businesses. As I plan and keep things organised, it helps me feel a lot less stressed about preparation, as I physically have in front of me what I need to buy and where to get it. Plus, there's always something so satisfying ticking off a list like that.

Practice your self-care routine

Self-care is more than bubble baths and face masks (even though it means that too), and it means caring for all areas of health. It means ensuring you eat intuitively, keep hydrated, get enough sleep, exercise, and set boundaries to care for your mental health and wellbeing. Christmas is a busy time and it's the most important season to learn to say no, set your boundaries, and practice what feels right for you and your mind.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself

This is easier said than done, but as a season that expects so much out of you, try not to expect too much of yourself. Taking the pressure off yourself can be hard, especially when we look at social media and see what everyone else is doing. However, the best way to do this is to remind yourself that you're doing your best to bob along with the festivities. 

Manage your expectations

This leads me onto managing your expectations. To take the pressure off yourself, lower your expectations on what is to happen in terms of festivities and what you bring to the table. By lowering your expectations, you have nothing to expect so anything that happens is a bonus if that makes sense. You can always make even better memories and come up with present ideas if you take away the standard you set for yourself.

Get outside as much as possible

With shorter days, getting out in daylight is harder than in the summer and springtime. However, in a time full of busy plans and colder weather, it's important to have that fresh air in your day. Whether it's the first ten minutes when you get up or in your lunch hour, try and get that snippet of fresh air to refresh your senses.

Reassure yourself it's okay if you're not happy

Just because the season is a time for complete joy, it doesn't mean you need to be happy all the time. Mental illnesses and poor mental health still occur at this time, you can still be triggered, experience bad anxiety or depressive episodes and that's okay. Don't shame yourself if you're feeling unwell or not happy. It's okay to feel all that you're feeling. 

Enjoy all the food

The festive season is all about food and also that means it's a time where there is a big pressure to eat. For most people, that's a fun prospect, however for those who deal with eating disorders or disordered eating, it can be a hard time, and it's important to take care of your mental health first and foremost. For those who don't deal with that, try and spend the season enjoying every bite, and not get influenced by diet culture.

Practice gratitude

Christmas is a time to be grateful, to appreciate everything we have and for those around us. It's a time to enjoy every good part of life and fully embrace it. I always feel extra lucky at Christmas for having a good family, good friends, food on the table, and a warm house, and focusing on those thoughts always helps my mind feel a lot better.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Italy is where I feel at home and Bologna is now up there as one of my favourite Italian cities ever. Bologna isn't like the usual tourist hotspots, it has that true authenticity to it and that's why I fell in love with it so much. It's an underrated city for sure.

If you're thinking about planning a trip to Bologna or heading there soon, here is everything you need to know before visiting Bologna.

Learn some Italian 

Bologna isn't like Rome, Venice, or the many other touristy cities in the sense that it's not packed with tourists and sightseeing tours, it's visited more by other Italians or you'll pass locals on the streets as you roam. Because of this, it's important to be aware that not everyone you come across will speak good English and sometimes no English at all. This is why I'd recommend, trying to learn a couple of handy phrases to keep you in the loop and able to communicate whilst in Bologna.

Walk everywhere by foot (if you can)

Bologna is a small enough city that you can reach most places on foot and walk to wherever you want to go. It's a gorgeous city simply to roam and always find something unique or historic to look at - and you can appreciate that the more you spend your time walking around the city. I'd say to give yourself at least a day to roam like a local as you'll find gems you didn't even know were there when you're busy focusing on getting to specific places.

You can't really eat any bad food

Bologna is the capital of good Italian food and many people flock here to be in authentic Italian food heaven, and I was the same. Unlike other touristy Italian cities, food in Bologna is created with pride and with traditional values in mind, so pretty much wherever you choose to eat, you can guarantee that food was prepared homemade and fresh. Bologna is home to many cured meats, ragu, and tortellini so I'd highly recommend eating those dishes whilst you're there.

Coperto charge

In most places you dine across Bologna, you'll be required to pay a Coperto charge which is basically just a service charge and will be a couple of euros. This is why I'd say to always eat the bread or snacks they give you for free to get your money's worth.

It's not a great destination for vegetarians or vegans

Bologna is renowned for its food scene and the majority of that food has a high meat percentage, with many of their specialties surrounding meat. For instance, their most famous dishes are tagliatelle al ragù, tortellini in brodo (broth), and lasagna al Forno, plus Mortadella has a raving name for itself too. If you are vegetarian or vegan, be wary that options may be available but a lot more limited than in other cities. In the student quarter, you're most likely to find more restaurants to cater to your needs/preferences. 

Bologna can get cold and foggy

When we picture Italy, we imagine continuous hot days but that's not the case all year round. In Bologna, as it's located in northern Italy and near the mountains, when autumn is fully underway, be prepared for cold and foggy days, the same as we get in the UK.

Bikes are very popular in Bologna

I didn't realise this until I got there and saw many locals riding around on their bicycles or mooching on foot. This is because it's forbidden to use cars in the main centre of the city between 7am and 8pm - make sure you're wary of this if you're looking to drive there.

Bologna is a prime destination for domestic travel

I could rave about the Italian train system all day as it's inexpensive and very accessible to get around the country. Bologna is a great base to head to other major cities including Verona, Venice, Rome, Florence, and many more. For instance, Verona and Venice are around a 90-minute journey and you can get to Florence in just 40 mins.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Consider yourself an overthinker or living with anxiety? I feel you and I hear you. It's one of the hardest things living with an anxious mind as your thoughts are constantly going round and round, growing and evolving, and it's hard to stop them. 

If you're living with an anxious mind and you're struggling with it, here are my tips on how to care for an anxious mind.

Affirmations are key

I adore affirmations, they're my favourite thing. We're all our own worst critics, we hate on ourselves for the littlest of things and are the first to point the bad things out. And, if you've got an anxious mind, these negative thoughts can develop into something a lot worse. This is where affirmations come in and can work wonders. Affirmations aren't something that work overnight, they're a practice that you implement every day as part of a routine, like your skincare in the morning. Practice a list of them every day and have some random ones dotted around too for when you need the extra boost.

Take time away from technology

Being on your phone is the worst thing when you have an anxious mind as it's a pool for comparison of others and can feed your negative thoughts, and make you feel worst. Caring for an anxious mind means taking breaks away from your phone as I can assure you, being away from constant notifications and perfect pictures will do you wonders - and allow you to connect more with the present.

Journal as much as you can

Writing your thoughts out is a great way to release the weight off your shoulders and remove them from your mind, by physically getting them onto paper. Get into the habit of journalling regularly as it can be a great way to clear your mind in the morning when you wake up or the last thing at night when thoughts are lingering on your mind. Journalling is a way to get your thoughts down including every single thing you're thinking that you don't want to say out loud.

Set a sleeping schedule

When I have a regular sleeping pattern, it always helps keep my anxiety at bay as it's so important to maintain good wellbeing. Sleeping is different for everyone to feel well-rested; I only need 7-8 hours, if I get any more or less, I'll feel overly tired so that's the prime amount for me to feel on top of my game. The best way to get into a sleeping schedule is to set an alarm for the same time every day and ensure you have downtime before bed to fall asleep at a similar time every night.

Practice healthy habits

Healthy habits are more than a good diet. It means exercising regularly, drinking water, getting your daily dose of fresh air, practicing self-love, caring for your mental health, and working on bettering your relationships. Healthy habits can mean an abundance of things, but the main premise is to ensure you're looking after yourself in every way possible.

Write letters to yourself 

Feeling low and having anxious thoughts is a breeding ground for a negative mindset. This is why I love the idea of writing yourself letters. These letters could be anything from a little motivational pep talk to reminding yourself of your achievements. Store them somewhere and when you're feeling anxious, pull them out and give them a read.

Remind yourself of your successes

This brings me to this point. You have come so far and you've achieved so much and you deserve to recognise that. It's time to remind yourself of that: write a list with all the top things you've achieved and are proud of yourself for.

Reassure yourself that it's just a thought, it's not real

This piece of advice has done me wonders when my mind is going around and around. Whatever you're thinking right now, it's just a thought, it's not real and it's not happening. Our thoughts are our imagination, they're often worries that aren't real and it's important to focus on that.

Remind yourself that it's not going to matter in the long run

If it won't matter in five years' time, don't spend longer than five minutes thinking about it; this is one piece of advice that has really stuck with me. Try not to waste energy or thoughts on things and people that don't matter or won't matter in years to come.

Do the things that bring you joy

Lastly, one of the best ways to look after your anxious mind is to do things that bring you joy. When you experience the feeling of joy, it can distract your mind from pressing worries and thoughts.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Bologna is the food capital of Italy and a place where everything you eat is guaranteed to be good. All food in the city is renowned for being made fresh and not for tourists like many other Italian cities, and that's why I'd advise eating as much food as possible whilst you're travelling around.

I was only in Bologna for 3 days, however, I ate at some incredible restaurants and eateries which I want to revisit again and again. If you're a massive foodie, here is my foodie guide to Bologna and everywhere to eat.

Breakfast

Breakfasts in Italy are my favorite thing. Most Italians start the day with a coffee and pastry or cake, it's always something sweet which is my love language. Bologna has more than enough coffee shops to tickle your fancy but there are a couple which I'd love to go back to.

Bar Aroma

Tucked away and renowned for some of the best coffee, Bar Aroma was the first breakfast I had in Bologna and one which I adored. The quaint little cafe had a family vibe to it and I could feel the heart about the place. The lady who ran it couldn't speak English and I loved that in a sense, as it felt like I was living like a local and embracing life in the city. The pastries were delicious in every way and the pure hot chocolate, mouth-watering and a great start to the day.

Bottega Portici

This had to be my favourite breakfast place in the city and somewhere I would happily revisit again and again. Located in the hub of the city, near the Torre Degli Asinelli, it's more than just a cafe. Bottega Portici offered the best selection of pastries and hot drinks, plus they make fresh pasta in the window for you to watch - and serve up sweet fried tortellini and it was so yummy.

Lunch

It's hard to pick a lunch place in Bologna as the cafes, eateries, and restaurants on offer all look so incredible, however, there were two favourites which stood out.

Mortadella Lab

Mortadella is famous in Bologna and the Emilia Romagna region as a whole, as home to cured meats. I heard this place raved about and as soon as I received my sandwich from the Mortadella Lab, I could see why. The sandwich wasn't just huge, it was insanely good. I had mine with mortadella obviously, mozzarella and tomatoes, and honestly, it's the best sandwich I've ever had. The mortadella was as fresh as anything and enough to serve at least 2 people.

Dinner

Dinner is the time to really embrace the Italian cuisine with the many classic dishes you need to sink your teeth into including tagliatelle ragu, tortellini in general (and in broth), meat platters, and more.

Osteria Del Podesta

This restaurant had the old-school charm and authenticity about it which I adored and the alfresco dining won my heart over. The best thing about the meal here was the meat platter on offer where I could sample the traditional meats known in this city. And also, I tried the traditional butter and ham tagliatelle dish which was so simple but scrummy in every way.

Trattoria La Finestrella

Trattoria La Finestrella had more of a fancier vibe to it but the price tag didn't match that and the food was super delicious. I indulged in another meat platter with mozzarella and then the classic tortellini with ragu. A completely wholesome choice and I really enjoyed every mouthful of it.

Bolpetta

This place was a random find and it was known for creating balls of meat which was a weird concept I have to admit, however, they were really nice in taste, not in texture though. Bolpetta did offer all the other classic dishes too and I finally got to try the tortellini in broth which I adored. And in the chillier Italian season, the best dish I could eat.

Gelaterias

I'm obsessed with Italian gelato, you can't beat it. Ice cream isn't the same anywhere else and whilst there, I found some gorgeous gelaterias.

Cremeria Cavour

I kid you not, this was the BEST gelato I've ever eaten. The chocolate flavour I could tell was made from pure chocolate and I adored every mouthful, I desperately wanted to go back for more if it didn't fill me up too much.

Oggi Gelato

This gelateria was a random find but the gelato was a great surprise. I went for something different here and their apple and cinnamon gelato was certainly interesting, and its chocolate flavour, superb too! I loved how they had slightly different flavours from the norm.

Cremeria La Vecchia Stalla

My favourite thing about this gelateria was the wide variety of different flavours on offer from all the chocolate ones you can think of to biscuits, fruits, and more. The variety matched well with the taste - it was so delicious! And, located near the Piazza Santo Stefano which was one of my fave squares.

Gelateria Delle Moline

This gelateria was located near the famous Via Delle Moline, a road of restaurants from all different cuisines, so a great place if you're looking for something unique. I found this on a late-night gelato hunt on the way back to the hotel and it had a traditional vibe about the place and was probably on the cheaper end to all the other places I went to.

Cremeria Santo Stefano

I came across this place the last night and it was tucked away from the main hub and I loved that. This gelateria was a great way to bid goodbye to the city with its fresh gelato and assortment of flavours on offer.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Do you have any other recommendations?

Thank you for reading <3