Let's talk about consent

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Consent is a topic I've wanted to talk about for a while for a few reasons. It's a topic that I personally didn't have the right education around growing up - and is something that needs more awareness and voice around it.

Trigger warning - This post contains the topics of sexual assault, rape, and sexual harassment.

It's one of those things that has now received a lot of attention and education on social media as it should, especially for young, impressionable teenagers - and I wish that level of education was around when I was growing up. I wanted to write a post to put my two pence into the situation to share my views and experiences around the topic of consent.

Let's talk about consent

What is consent?

By definition, consent is permission for something to happen by agreement. However, when it comes to consent in a sexual nature, these lines and definitions are often blurred and subjective to allow others to get away with not asking for consent. And that in itself is not only a crime but it's horribly heartbreaking and traumatic for the individual who was taken advantage of.

Consent isn't just asking if you want to have sex with someone, but it's making it clear whether the answer is a distinctive yes or no. Often or not, 'no' or 'stop' is often dismissed or coerced into being a yes so the other person can continue in the sexual act without actually having consent. But sex without consent is rape. It's as simple as that.

When I was growing up, I thought consent meant agreeing to sex and if you had said yes then it's fine and consensual, but that's not always the case. And, if you were in a relationship then it was okay for them to expect sex (which isn't right in any sense.) If you say yes, and then decide you want to stop halfway through and they continue, it's rape. If you say yes but you're too intoxicated to clearly give a distinctive answer, that's rape. If they ask to have sex with you and try and convince you when 'you're not feeling it', that is sexual coercion and a form of sexual assault. None of this is right and legal. Which as hard-hitting as it is, it so important to know.

Why is consent important to talk about?

Spreading awareness about consent is important for many reasons. The sad thing with consent is, once it is fully understood, a lot of people (especially women), come to realise that they have fallen victim to sexual assault and it's a trauma they then have to live with and heal from.

Consent is important to talk about because it helps victims understand that what they experienced is a crime and is wrong in every sense - and helps them come to terms with it's not their fault. After experiencing sexual assault, rape, or harassment, the victim will often feel shameful and blame themselves for what happened. When in reality, they did nothing wrong.  The abuser did and they should be held accountable for their actions, rather than victims taking the wrath for being taking advantage of or hurt. 

Sexual trauma is awful and can mean many consequences, leading to PTSD, distrust in people, and worsen mental health problems - and that's why by bringing awareness to consent, those who have gone through sexual trauma can begin their journey to healing and can get the help they need.

It's also important to talk about consent so people can be aware of what is consensual and what isn't and to further education. Some perpetrators do not realise that what they did was non-consensual (again this is only some because for the most part, they know it's wrong and rapes occur as a form of control and abuse - I don't want to not dispute that fact) and that's why by teaching them, they will understand what they're doing is illegal and wrong.

Teaching needs to begin at a young age before society and rape culture has the opportunity to be learnt and seen as okay - as it's not. Joking about rape is wrong, encouraging your friends to sexually harass someone is wrong and thinking rape victims are 'asking for it' makes my skin crawl. Nobody asks to be raped or sexually assaulted, the only person who should be blamed is the rapist.

What can you do to help?

This is a huge question and not really a simple answer, but the best thing you can do is talk and spread awareness. With anything in life by having those hard-hitting conversations, it gets people to listen. You don't have to be an influencer or someone famous to start change, it can begin in your family and friends circle and go from there.

Often or not, those victim of rape or sexual assault are people around you, whether it's a family member, friend or work colleague and talking about the topic will allow people the opportunity to open up and not feel shame about what they went through. And the same goes with children or teenagers, reinforcing the idea and education around consent will help them as they get older to either speak out or have a better understanding.

It's important for us to talk, educate and help those who have experienced sexual assault. As someone who has their own story, I want to help others out there and that's where starting a conversation can really benefit someone. 

If you're someone who has experienced sexual assault or rape, please know, you're not alone and what happened isn't your fault. If you need additional help, you can phone the Rape Crisis team on 08088029999 or visit their website.

I'm also always here to talk, either DM me on Instagram or Twitter. I'm not a professional but sometimes it's reassuring to have someone to talk to. I know how hard this can be and want to be there for anyone experiencing the same thing. It's going to be okay in the end, I can assure you.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Thank you for reading <3

Must-have items for travelling sustainably*

Well hello to you my reader chums! Sustainability and being more eco-friendly is something I talk about a lot on my blog. I'm really passionate about the planet and doing my bit in order to help the environment, from the little to the big changes I can make.

This post contains gifted items from S'wheat, gobambu and Heiko but all opinions are my own. 

I'm a big traveller (prior to the pandemic) and it's something I can't wait to get back to, however, travelling isn't the most sustainable thing to do. Whether you're planning a trip soon or love to travel, here are the must-have items for travelling sustainably.

Must-have items for travelling sustainably

S'wheat water bottle 

A water bottle is the number one thing to think of when travelling around as it's so important to keep hydrated. The founders of S'wheat got in touch recently about trying their new sustainable bottle and gifted me their beautiful light blue one - and honestly, I couldn't be more excited. Their bottles are entirely made from plants, are reusable and for every bottle sold, the equivalent of 20lbs of plastic is taken out of the ocean. They also plant a tree with every product sold and a % of profits is donated to protect wildlife and sealife all across the world.

S'wheat is a sustainable brand that gives back and I absolutely love that mission. The bottles are of amazing quality and have the ability to keep drinks hot or cold with their eco-thermal wall. And, they have a little hook on them too which means you can hang them onto your bag or self when on the go. If you're interested in joining the waiting list so you'll be the first to get your hands on this bottle then sign up using this link. By joining the waiting list, you will receive exclusive discounts, rewards and free products. You can also share your unique link with friends to earn free rewards and products.

s'wheat water bottle

I've been using this recently and have been loving it when I'm out and about! It looks cute, my water stays cold all day long, it's easy to refill and I have the assurance of knowing that I can use it over and over again. I love the design and the mission and feel so grateful to be gifted one of these beauties. 

Bamboo cutlery and straws

When travelling on the go, that means eating out a lot and buying from takeaway shops too. Often from these places, a lot of disposable cutlery and staws are given out and that means a lot of unnecessary waste. By bringing along reusable cutlery and straws, you will save on wasting excess plastic and always ensure you have something to eat your food and drink with.

Reusable coffee cups

Similar to having reusable cutlery and a water bottle, for any hot drink fans, reusable coffee cups will come in handy more than you think, especially if you buy drinks on the regular. They're great for hot drinks but they are also really good for things like soup and quick noodles if you're cooking something up in a hostel. I love my Bamboo cup, but a collapsable coffee cup is also handy or Keep Cups are really handy too.

Tote bags

I'm a huge tote bag fan, I always bring them wherever I go, in case I need to carry or buy something. They're the perfect bags for travelling as they can be folded up really small which means they take up a small space in your luggage. They have multiple uses and are available to buy everywhere. Tote bags are also a lot stronger than plastic bags and last a lot longer.

Shampoo and conditioner bars/solid soap and toothpaste

I've never turned back to regular shampoo since using Lush's solid shampoo and conditioner a couple of years ago. The bars make my hair look and feel incredible, they last forever and the best part, they create no waste. I'm obsessed with them - and they're completely natural too which is good for your hair and the environment.

There are many other eco-friendly and solid products you can invest in including hand soap, body soap, solid toothpaste and perfume. 

Reusable cotton makeup pads

I don't know why I didn't use reusable cotton makeup pads sooner. They work very similarly to the disposable cotton pads, but of course, you can wash them and reuse them all over again. The cotton pads come in a laundry bag so when you're done with them, you can pop them in the bag and wash them with your usual laundry load.

Reusable sanitary products

There are plenty of different reusable sanitary products on the market today from menstrual cups, fabric pads to organic tampons and period underwear. It's all about what's right for you; I'm a huge fan of menstrual cups but I also love the idea of reusable fabric pads too. A lot of the products can be washed the same way your laundry is, the cups just need an area for sterilisation and for the disposable ones, they can be disposed of as usual.

Bamboo toothbrush

We all know that millions of plastic toothbrushes end up in landfill every year and don't decompose for years afterwards. Making the switch to bamboo will give you the chance to recycle your brushes, unlike the plastic kind.

Microfibre towels 

When travelling, we always need a towel and the beauty of a microfibre towel is how they are condensed down into something small and can be transported easily. And, they absorb a lot of water, reducing the amount of water used.

I'm not the perfect person when it comes to sustainability and sometimes I forget to bring these items with me and buy the disposable version instead (which I always get annoyed with) but these items, whether you use them all the time or part of the time can make a big impact on the amount of waste you produce.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other sustainable products would you bring?

Thank you for reading <3

8 years of blogging - what I have learnt

 Well hello to you my reader chums! I can't believe that today is the 8th birthday of my blog, Della Loves Nutella and I've been writing on it for 8 consecutive years. The commitment to this blog is something I'm not only most proud of but incredibly grateful for.

Making the decision to start a blog in 2013 has to be the best gift I've given to myself and I'm really glad, I still enjoy writing blogs 8 years on, and have the same passion for sharing my thoughts and words online.

This blogging journey has been an incredible one and also something that has grown with me as a person and allowed me to see how I've changed over the course of 8 years. I've not only shared my tips and advice online, but I've also documented incredible parts of my life including my travels, fab memories with my best friends, and my personal journeys. These posts are always the loveliest to look back on and I'm grateful to have written them down.

blogging for 8 years - pegwell bay Kent

Whether you're new to my blog or have followed me for the 8 years I've been blogging, here is everything I've learnt.

Writing what I love is the most important thing

Writing is my biggest passion; all I've ever wanted to be was a writer and share my words with the world. My biggest dream is to still become a published author and have my books sitting on the shelf in every bookshop in the country.

This blog has given me that writing outlet for 8 years and will continue to do so as I can't ever see myself giving it up or walking away. But, what I've learnt in terms of writing it writing what I love is the most important thing. There is no point in sharing content online that I don't like writing or creating, as it won't sound as authentic as something I'm truly passionate about.

I've only ever really shared the things I'm truly passionate about online as it's what is easiest to write and comes naturally to me, and I find my audience enjoys that content. I've read blogs in my time where you can just tell the passion isn't there, and they're just doing it because they think that's what people want to read and that isn't right. Write what is right for you and the right audience will come to you.

The blogging community will always have my back

I've loved the blogging community since day one and feel so grateful to still be apart of it 8 years on. There are bloggers I still follow from the early days of blogging and I love seeing how far they've come and that we still support each other.

The blogging community has changed a lot in 8 years in terms of how blogging has turned into a job for a lot of people, there are a lot more doing it and competition is higher. However, what's not changed is the genuine love and support from the community. Every blogger I've spoken to over the years has always been incredibly kind, positive, and supportive in anything I've done or asked about.

It's all about enjoying it

Blogging can be a hard ball game, it's not as easy as it used to be in terms of getting views and making your stamp in the blogging community. However, as more bloggers have come about, all I've tried to remember is as long as I'm enjoying it, that's the main thing. Although sometimes numbers can be discouraging and I can compare myself to other blogger's success, I always try to bring it back to the point that as long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. This point also feeds into anything in life - as long as you're happy and enjoying it, keep doing what you're doing.

It's okay to open up about my experiences and thoughts

I've always been a very honest person in every way, including expressing my feelings and thoughts. It's only as I've gotten older, I've felt more open talking about certain topics on a wider scale - and that includes my blog. People's experiences and people's stories are all part of what shapes us learning new things and educating ourselves, whether that's with mental health or sexual assault experiences.

We all have a story and something we've learnt from and I've found my blog to be a place where I can talk about these things openly and receive encouragement and support, and it also inspires others to speak up too. It's also made me realise how all of these 'taboo' subjects are okay to talk about and should be spoken about more so we can learn and normalise them. Education is key to creating a more open-minded world.

Having a niche and authentic voice is important

I've always written from the heart and how I would exactly say things, especially with my blog as it comes down to the pure honesty element that I have in my soul. But, through the years of blogging, I've learnt how important it is to have a niche and authentic voice on your blog, as it gives you ownership.

When a blog focuses on too many things, I find myself gravitating away from it and I prefer when I read a blog that has a unique voice and a selection of topics they focus on. I know over the years, my niche has changed as I've gone from a beauty and lifestyle blog to now a more lifestyle and travel blog with a sprinkle of beauty and book posts. But throughout it all, my voice has remained the same, it's just gotten a little bit smarter and wiser as I've grown.

Social media can be your best friend

Even though social media can be toxic when it comes to comparing yourself to others, for blogging it can be your best friend. Social media has given me a platform, well several platforms to promote my blog and also connect with like-minded bloggers and individuals.

Twitter I find is best to promote my blog and meet new bloggers, Pinterest is great for blog traffic and Instagram is a great platform to boost up other bloggers. The platforms all have great benefits if I'm honest and without them, I don't think my blog would have the readership it does.

I've achieved more than I ever thought I would

Over the past 8 years, I've achieved more than I ever thought I would. If you would have told my 16-year-old self, I have travelled all over the world, made some epic memories with my best friends, grown my confidence, overcome my anxiety to a level where I know how to cope, have a successful marketing career, have my own business, and keep a blog for 8 years, I wouldn't believe you.

The 8 years have been up and down for sure, with a lot of life lessons learnt the hard way but I'm so grateful I kept this blog to document the progress through it all.

To always follow my heart and passions

I always say to follow your heart and do what makes you happy as your happiness and mental health should always come first. Although this isn't something I've directly learnt from my blog, it does feed into it - as my blog is an outlet where I talk about my passions and share what I love. It has given me the platform to write about things that make my heart feel full and happy. And, it's a lesson which should be applied to do anything in life.

To be consistent and keep going

Consistency is key with anything that's worth having, including this blog. If it wasn't for consistently writing and upkeeping this blog, I wouldn't be writing this post eight years later. I've learnt that keeping consistent and having the energy to keep going is important if it's something worthwhile and that I enjoy. Hard work will always pay off.

How grateful I am for everything around me

This past year has been one of growth and I've become the most grateful I've ever been with realising the love I have around me, the memories I've made, and the travels I've been on - and it's made me realise my privilege. But, this blog has also made me realise that as I've had the opportunity to document these words. I'm so grateful to have my blog and over 8 years have had the chance to ramble about whatever I please on my space on the internet.

If you're a newbie to my blog, have read since the beginning or started reading recently, I want to say thank you. Thank you for the continuous support, the kind words, the lovely comments, and truly, for taking the time out of your day to read my thoughts poured into my writing. I appreciate it more than you ever know.

I hope you enjoyed this post. How long have you been blogging?

Thank you for reading <3

How to create a safe zone within yourself

 Well hello to you my reader chums! This post is something I've learnt about recently; in the sense that whatever you feel about yourself will radiate how you think everybody views you. For instance, if you want to feel loved by everyone around you, you need to love yourself first and the same goes with feeling safe.

Feeling safe is very important to me and having people around me who are a safe space is my top priority. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by strong and supportive people who I feel my safest around and can be my best self. 

How to create a safe zone within yourself

Whether you're looking to create a more positive environment around you or find assurance in yourself, here is how to create a safe zone.

Think about why you don't feel fully at one with yourself

This is the most important point with any issue that you have about yourself, because once you figure out the stem of what is causing your pain, then you can begin to work on it - and that goes with creating a safe zone in yourself. If yourself isn't a safe zone, in the fact that you talk badly about yourself and you're not comfortable with who you are, or you don't trust yourself then being yourself fully will create a lot of anxiety - as you're not seeing your true potential or how good you really are.

You need to come to the cause of your deep down feelings, accept them and accept who you are in order to begin creating that safe zone.

List all the reasons you're feeling this way and solutions

The next step is all about taking the actions of these causes. Once you understand why you're feeling a certain way, list all those things down of how you're feeling, and then write another list of where you want to be and how you want to feel (this will be your safe zone.) And then, write another list of the limiting thoughts that are stopping you from getting there.

Once you see the limiting thoughts listed on paper, you can start to come up with solutions to get from who you are to what you want to be and then, the what you want to be, will usually be along the lines of being your happy and best self - and that will aid you in creating a safe zone within yourself.

Start your journey with self-love

I preach about self-love a lot on my blog as honestly, I believe it's the true source of finding happiness within yourself and your life. I always say, once you know your worth and love yourself, you can take on the world - as it's completely true. How you view yourself will radiate to how you see the world, the people you surround yourself with and following your goals.

By learning to love yourself, you'll already be on the way to creating a safe zone inside yourself as you will be in the process of learning to be happy about yourself.

Remove negative energy from your life

I talk about negative energy and toxic people a lot as it's so important to fill your life with people who deserve to be in it and value you for who you are. If people aren't reciprocating the positive energy you give to them, then they shouldn't be a part of your life, and it's necessary to recognise that and know when to cut ties.

When you remove negative energy and people, the noise that they were creating about you, will slowly heal and you can focus on yourself and making that safe zone. And, it gives you the chance to extend the safe zone in you with the good people you surround yourself with.

Practise gratitude and journal progress

I wish I practised gratitude more when I was younger as honestly, it's the best thing to change my mindset into a more positive one and live a happier life, in general. Journalling is great for this, as you have somewhere openly to write down your grateful thought every day. When you express gratitude, you'll feel a lot better about your life and what you're aiming for, and this will feed into creating a safe zone.

Set boundaries with yourself and others

Setting boundaries is so important and something I wish we all learnt growing up. It's important to set them for other people but also for yourself so you don't burn out, overwork or push yourself too hard in the wrong direction. Productivity is important but toxic producivity is also a thing and can have a detrimental effect on your mind.

Setting boundaries with people can be on a personal level when to say no and them treating you right and it's the same process you need to do with yourself. Say no when things aren't right, treat yourself with kindness and as you would your best pal. With boundaries, you'll then be more self-aware when people cross them or if you cross them yourself.

Only surround yourself with people who you can be your authentic self with

As I've gotten older,  I've learnt that not everyone will be my friend and I don't need to be everyone's friend. It's important to surround yourself with the right people who get you, that you feel most comfortable with and you can be your true self around. When you're not your true self acting like an imposter in a sense, that's when you will find yourself feeling anxious or on edge as in a sense, you're living a lie.

Surround yourself with the right people as then you can be the best version of yourself and you'll always feel like you and your group os a safe zone.

Spend time and date yourself regularly

I only started to appreciate the importance of this recently and the value that dating yourself really is. The only time you can truly figure out who you are and what you want is when you're alone, with no distractions or influence from other people. And, doing this on the regular basis, will allow you to create a safe haven within yourself as you can learn what things you enjoy doing and what you don't. Whereas, when you're with others, you can get swayed. Being alone will really help you figure out a lot of things and give you the headspace to think deeply.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

5 must-see staycation spots in southern England

 Well hello to you my reader chums! It's no secret that a lot of us are missing the travel way of life (including myself) and are desperate to get on a plane and set off to somewhere hot and sunny. However, it's not entirely clear when international travel is going to go back to normal any time soon and that's why it's a great time to appreciate the joy of staycations and see what's on our doorstep. 

Whether you're looking for a seaside getaway or city break, here are my 5 must-see staycation spots this summer in southern England.

Kent coast

I've lived on the Kent coast my entire life and it's somewhere I'm incredibly grateful to call home and has so much to offer both locals and visitors alike. The Kent Coast is bigger than it looks and has a bit of something for everyone, whether you're into a more relaxed getaway or somewhere with a bit of excitement.

Botany Bay Beach Kent

There's everything from the pebbly shores of Whitstable and Deal to the hidden gems of Thanet's sandy beaches. A trip to the Kent coast can mean not only exploring the secluded beaches and bustling promenades, but it's an opportunity to dive into the history of Kent, visit local restaurants, wander along coastal paths, and have that feeling of home wherever you go. The Kent coast is my happy place and I'll rave about how serene and incredible it is all day long - and for those who haven't visited, you're guaranteed to love the seaside way of life.

London

England's capital and one of my favourite ever cities, you really can't beat the bustle of London. The city has something for everyone and is a place, I'm always finding new things to discover, whether it's a restaurant, cute street, shopping area, or vibe, London is completely versatile in every way.

London Piccadilly circus

I'm quite lucky to live around an hour train journey away from the Big Smoke as it means I've had the opportunity to visit regularly and work my way around my favourite parts of the city. Whether it's to hit up a show in the west end, go for a shopping spree, mooch around Covent Garden, go for a bar crawl, or to dine in a fancy restaurant, London has a bit of everything for a day out or a long weekend away. It's one of those cities where there is always more to discover on every occasion you visit - and has a buzz that'll always stay with you.

Brighton and Hove

Despite loving visiting London on a regular occasion, I'm not a huge city lover. I love the buzz of visiting for a day or two but the coastal way of life has my heart and that's why I adore Brighton so much. It has the bustle of a city but also the quiet and serene atmosphere of the coast.

Brighton pier and beach

Brighton is a hub for all types of entertainment from funfair rides on the pier, boutique shopping down the Laines, beach relaxing on the pebbles, exciting brunch spots to quaint residential streets, and candid photo opportunities. It's one of those cities which has more in store than first meets the eye with plenty of sightseeing activities in-store also. 

Hove is next to Brighton and is an upmarket city with a slightly quieter appeal than the main stretch of Brighton pier and marina. The main stretch of pebbled beach is a tranquil spot with a promenade packed with colourful beach huts and the level of greenery is high. There's plenty of things to see and do from museums to pizzeria dining and a coastline that'll welcome you.

Weymouth, Dorset

Dorset is a large county in southern England and had many different areas to explore. Weymouth is a seaside town with sandy beaches, beautiful architecture, and plenty of surrounding nature trails to explore. 

Isle of Portland, Dorset

The sights of Weymouth are perfect for couples, families, or groups alike visiting for a trip away to experience coastal life. There's everything from the stunning harbour which is lined with restaurants and bars, the many beaches including Weymouth beach and the famous Chesil beach to museums and lakes. Nearby, you can also visit the Isle of Portland for jaw-droppingly good cliffside views (especially if it's a sunny day) and the Jurrasic Coast touches in Dorset, which means, you're not far away from experiencing the sheer beauty of the waters.

Oxford 

Located in the centre of southern England, Oxford is a city that is most famous for its university, however, the city is more than that with a long list of must-see things to add to your agenda for your visit. 

This city is definitely a place for the history buff that loves nothing more than learning, adventuring and discovering more about a new place. Museums come in the bucket load, there are charming cathedrals to visit, castles and many pieces of architecture that'll leave you wowed as you roam through. Its high street will fulfil any shopping desires you're after and with the number of parks in store, there's the opportunity for a bit of peace after a busy roam around this esteemed city.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Where are you planning to go next?

Thank you for reading <3

I'm still learning and why healing isn't linear

Well hello to you my reader chums! After writing my blog for nearly 8 years now, I've written a lot of reflective posts in my time, talking about my anxiety, confidence journey, self-love journey, and mental health in general.

Growing up with space online to vent and talk about these issues is something I'm always grateful for as I'm able to look back and physically see a documented log of personal growth. But, as I am getting older, I also realised how much I still learn every single day about my personal growth, healing, and how it's not linear.

I'm still learning and why healing isn't linear

Everyone is going through something in life and we all have our own issues, even if you're not aware of it or people don't show it - that's why it's always so important to be kind to everyone around you.

Whether you're going through something right now, have been dealing with something difficult are in the process of your inner healing, here is an honest post about how I'm still learning and why healing isn't linear.

I'm still learning

Life is a learning experience every single day and there is always something to learn. However, what I mean by I'm still learning is about my mental health, learning to love myself, and really still figuring myself out.

It's no secret that in terms of my mental health and confidence, I have come leaps and bounds since I was an insecure teenager, but that doesn't mean I'm fully healed, nor perfect in any way. I like to look back at my progress and feel proud of everything I've accomplished and all the milestones I've made and how overall, I do feel better in myself. But, it's not to say I'm fully there yet and that's still okay. Progress matters and that will always be the case - finding myself isn't a rush to the finish line, that's what life is all about. Ups, downs, struggles, and hardships are all part of what makes me, me, and us humans.

I'm still learning how to cope with my anxiety. I'm still learning how to heal from past trauma. I'm still learning to gain trust in new people. I'm still learning that I deserve good things and I matter. I'm still learning about healing and what that means. I'm still learning more about my own mental health journey. I'm still learning what I want out of life. I'm still learning to take pressure off myself. I'm still learning that I'm not a failure and am good enough. I'm still learning to love all that is me. I'm still learning to take accountability. I'm still learning that it's okay to have bad days. I'm still learning that it's okay to ask for help and support. I'm still learning that the right people will always have my back. I'm still learning that I'm not alone in feeling this way. 

And most importantly, I'm still learning how to be me, to figure out who I am, and be the best version of myself. 

Why healing isn't linear

The prospect of healing is unique to an individual in what they've experienced or have been through and how they need to process and overcome that. Nobody's life journey is the same and nobody's healing experience will be the same either. We're all different, we all process and deal with traumas differently and no two people's experiences are exactly the same - that's normal and okay.

Healing isn't linear quote


Healing is something I've learnt a lot about over the past year as I had more time to finally focus on myself and face the trauma I've gone through and take a harsh look at myself, what I don't like, what I do like, and how I want to feel better as a whole, putting all the negative experiences behind me. But what I've learnt, is even when I think something's behind me, sometimes that thing can crop up again and I'm not okay. And that's normal because healing isn't linear.

Healing is more like a wavy line, you'll have ups and downs once you make the decision to face an issue that you've been struggling with and getting the help you need. It's not one straight line to feeling better, thoughts will pop up, there will be triggers and reminders which can rebirth old memories and that's okay. It can be really hard to deal with but as soon as you make the choice to starting your healing journey in whatever area that is, you're on the route to feeling your best self. The best self you deserve to feel as you're incredible in every way.

I've recently been experiencing a severe amount of anxiety brought on by my past trauma which I've suppressed and as much as it's been hard to come to terms with, but it's important for me to realise that asking for help and support is all part of my healing journey. And, that I can get through it. I will be okay and continue on the route to heal. 

Trauma, your mental health problems, or any hardships you've been through don't define you. We all have struggles, we all have triggers and we all have things in our life we need to heal from.

Just a daily reminder that I'm proud of you for any struggles you're going through. It will get better and through the route of healing, although it may be hard, you've got the strength to make it through. And know, when those triggers hit, over the stretch of time, the level of pain does get smaller and you can get through it.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What is one thing you are proud you've accomplished?

Thank you for reading <3

Why it's important to have a rest day

 Well hello to you my reader chums! I'm guilty of admitting, I'm not very good at taking rest days, having a break, or pausing on being busy; it's just part of who I am. However, as I've gotten older, I've begun to learn that it's more than okay to take a break, take a step back and simply rest - and why I should be doing this more.

Whether you're like me and don't know when to stop or are feeling guilty about having a rest day, here are the reasons why it's so important to have a rest day.

Pegwell Bay, Ramsgate kent

It's a chance to recharge

If you're constantly going for it, whether that's in your job or your fitness routine, then eventually you will burn out, which isn't healthy at all. And, it will have a detrimental effect on your mental health - which will only make you associate the thing you're overworking at as a negative image.

Having a rest day from work, fitness, or your busy life will give your body and mind the chance to relax and recharge - so when you want to go for it again, you'll be ready for it. If you work at 100% all of the time, you won't be able to always give a high percentage of energy, as that'll slowly dwindle, and you'll be working off tired fumes.

Take regular breaks and recharge to be able to get your full self back and then give your all. I've found this to work a treat, whether that's for my blog, job, or a fitness routine. Giving myself time to recharge means, I'll be able to be on my A-game again - you need to recharge like your phone does every single night.

To take care of your body

Your body is your temple and should be taken care of in every instance, whether that's with what you eat, getting out and out, looking after your mental health, and doing things that are right for you. But, it also comes down to ensuring you're giving your body the opportunity to relax and rest when it needs it, in order for you to live your best self.

You only get one body and you need to look after it. After all, your body does everything for you; it keeps you alive and heals you - and often or not, the physical symptoms it shows you such as anxiety or pains, are warning signs of how you're taking care of it.

I've definitely started to take care of my body a lot more recently, fuelling it how it needs, exercising, keeping hydrated, and making my mental health a top priority in day-to-day life.

To learn to live intuitively

This has to be my favourite tip as really links to why resting is so important for your body and mind. Living intuitively means really listening to your body in terms of eating and what it needs in every given instance. If you feel like you need to get up and go for a walk, do it, if you're feeling extra tired, have a sleep and if you're hungry, eat. It's really that simple - and will do you wonders.

Your body is more in tune with your mind than you think and listening to it really is key. This is why things like meditating, using crystals, and aligning chakras, really help you figure out what your body needs.

To understand life isn't meant to be full-on all of the time

I feel like this is something I need to shout at my past self because as I've previously said, I'm guilty of being a very busy person as I thought that is what life is meant to be about. However, this is not the case at all. Life is what you want it to be, and as humans, we're not designed to work all the time. We're put on this Earth to enjoy everything around us and appreciate, and learn from everything thrown our way.

Life can be fast sometimes and it can also be incredibly slow, and both ways are okay - but as long as you take the rest involved with that is the most important thing.

And know, some of the best things in life are at a slower pace

It probably took me until we went into the first lockdown to realise this point. With the world shutting down, we were forced to stop our fast-paced lives and go into something a lot slower. Once I started living at a slower pace, I realised the beauty in it and I didn't have to constantly be busy with work, socialising, or jetting over the world to be fulfilled.

I could get the same fulfilling feeling taking a walk down the local beach, spending an afternoon in a good book, having a workout, and having facetime with a pal. I didn't need all the fancy extras - and this also helped me realise why a slower-paced life and taking rest days are so beneficial to my mental health.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other reasons do you have?

Thank you for reading <3