What self-love means to me

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Self-love is the most important thing for your mental health and self-esteem, and something I preach about it on a daily basis. It's a journey for us all in different ways and not something that happens overnight, and I wish it was normalised and taught more when I was growing up.

I've had a very long journey with self-love and learning to be the love of my own life, but it is something I want to talk about as much as possible, and share with my readers. Whether you're new to self-love or would learn more about it, here is what self-love is to me.

Self love definition

What is self-love?

Self-love has a wide definition in my opinion but the crux of what it means caring and loving yourself, and valuing who you are as the most important thing. You are the number one priority in your life, and that's exactly how you should view and appreciate yourself. You should talk to yourself with kindness, pursue what makes you happy, and ultimately, be your own hype girl.

Understanding what self-love is is important, but then practicing that on yourself is even more so. Self-love to me means first accepting yourself for who you are and that means the good parts, the flaws but also the insecurities. We all have insecurities, even the most confident people, however, with confident individuals, they have just accepted and learnt to live with them - and you can do that too.

Having confidence in yourself and your body is a big stepping point in your journey to self-love and a way to help you realise your worth. I always say, once you know your worth, you can take on the world and that's so true. As when you have that true love and belief in yourself, any problem or obstacle that comes your way, you'll be able to overcome it a lot easier than if you have no confidence in yourself.

Self-love isn't just about liking what you look like and who you are, it's also accepting when you've done wrong, made mistakes, taking accountability for every choice you make, and constantly working on yourself to make the best version of yourself. Nobody is perfect and there is always something to improve on and learn from, that's the whole beauty in being a human being.

You need to love yourself enough to be self-aware of a situation, admitting what you've done right and wrong, setting boundaries, and always trying to do what's best for you. We can all get distracted by the world and people around us, and that is a very important part of your life. However, self-love also means encompasses all the best parts of your life and living for the things that make you happy, not anyone else.

Why is self-love so important?

Self-love should be a top priority in your life and is something we need to normalise as an everyday practice. It's not selfish to love yourself, it's not 'full of yourself' to love the way you look or adore your appearance, and being single isn't 'depressing' or 'lonely', it's a wonderful and empowering time, to learn more about yourself.

Self-love is important because:

  • You are the most important in your life - It took me a long while to realise this point. I was constantly putting everyone else's needs before mine as I've always been taught to be kind and caring, and look out for one another, but that always made me neglect myself. This is a very important thing to do as treating people with kindness is necessary, but you are also a person and deserve the same kindness you give to everyone else. When I began this journey of self-love and to understand this principle, I started to focus on myself and my goals and realised how happy it made me. I didn't need to find happiness in other people when I could find it in myself - and learnt I am the most important person in my life.
  • You deserve to feel happy within yourself - We all deserve happiness, and sometimes when we don't love ourselves or believe in ourselves, we think we're not worthy of happiness. Spoiler - that's not right. Happiness is a journey but learning to love yourself and who you are will give you a step in the right direction of knowing you deserve it.
  • You are unique - One of the reasons a lot of us feel inadequate or not good enough is that we compare ourselves to everyone else and feel like they are better than us. However, that's not the case. Everyone has insecurities and everyone compares themselves to other people, despite how 'perfect' they look. Learning to love yourself will make you realise you are unique and beautiful and amazing, just the way you are. You don't need to be anyone else.
  • The media can be toxic - It's no secret that traditional media and social media can be a toxic environment a lot of the time when it comes to how we view and value ourselves, often plastering 'perfect' looking people everywhere and also, shaming a lot of people for how they look or what they do. Nobody has the right to judge anyone for how they look or what they do in their life. It's their choice and their life, you shouldn't get a say - and that's the same with your life. Self-love is important because it goes against everything the media is trying to promote to us, making us feel inadequate so they can market products to us to 'feel better about ourselves.'  Diet culture, airbrush imagery, and influencer culture all feed into this idea. You're good enough and worthy enough already, I promise you.
  • Life is too short - Life can go by quicker than we all think. I'm nearly 25 and it seems like my twenties are zooming by and as much as time scares me, it also makes me realise I need to cherish and use every moment and be grateful for everything I've experienced. Although I've had lots of lows, I've had the best of highs in the course of my life and as I'm growing older and falling in love with myself more, it makes me even more appreciative of that. Life is too short to worry about people's opinions on you - once you realise how absorbed people are in their own life, you can have more energy to focus on your and your beautiful life.
  • It can help you understand boundaries - Learning to set boundaries is an act of self-care and looking after your own mental health, and cutting out unnecessary toxic energy. When you love yourself or are in the journey of self-love, you will soon come to realise the reason of how and why people act around you, and how to set the right boundaries in your life, in terms of your interactions and what makes you happy.
  • It lets you make mistakes - We've all beaten ourselves up at one time or another if we've done something wrong, made a mistake, or hurt someone and that's totally normal. However, what's not normal, is beating yourself up so much you hurt yourself, emotionally and hurt your own feelings. Self-love can teach you to appreciate and respect the mistakes you make but also teach you accountability and how to learn from them, rather than convincing yourself you're the worst person on the planet.
  • It assures you having bad days is normal - I would always put pressure on myself that I should feel happy all the time, and I wasn't feeling that way and wondered why. But, it's not normal for anyone to feel happy all the time, we all have bad days and that's okay. Learning to love yourself means that on the bad days, instead of beating yourself up for feeling down, you'll learn to take care of yourself on those days instead.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What does self-love mean to you?

Thank you for reading <3

80 comments

  1. Love love love love all posts on self-love. We owe it to ourselves and we should never feel guilty or be made to feel guilty.💕 The world would be a better place with more self-love! Great post!

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  2. Love this post! Needs to be more like this out there, its so important self-love! Something I have learnt in the past year and a half!

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  3. Such a lovely read! All your points are true! couldn't agree more. Self love is everything especially during this time. Fantastic post! Thanks for sharing xx


    www.lifebeginsattwenty.com

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  4. Absolutely love this post. I almost want to print it off and stick it on my fridge. Something you said last week in your blog post has really not left me. Speak to myself and my body as I would my best friends. I realised that my own level of self love was seriously lacking. But no more, I am going to really love myself for the first time in my life!

    Rosie

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    1. Thank you so much lovely for the nicest comment! I'm really glad you found the post helpful and another piece of advice I've shared has stuck with you - I'm so excited for you to embark on your self love journey xx

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  5. Such a good post! I think it's important we all learn to appreciate and love yourselves, as you pointed out there can be some really toxic forces and it's good to know that no matter what, at the end of the day we have done our best and that is all we can do.

    Hope you have a good start to your week :)

    Away From The Blue

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  6. This was such a great post! EVery time I come back to your posts I learn something new and learn to see things a different way, and for this thank you! As yous aid, self-love doesn't stop at how we look and being alone means there's more time to explore ourselves. What I will always take is that we are our most important person in life, so true! Thank you for sharing Della xx

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    1. Thank you so much!! Your comment has made my day, I'm really glad you like the posts xx

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  7. Self love definitely means different things to different people but it is important to show ourselves self love regularly to look after our well-being. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    Lauren

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  8. Loved reading your thoughts on self-love. Agree that it can meet different things to different people but it's so important to look after ourselves and put ourselves first even though it can be a hard thing to do. Fab post!

    Tash - A Girl with a View

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  9. This is such a great post. I agree with everything that you wrote, because if we don't love ourselfs, we are not capable to love others.

    New Post - https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2021/03/filorga-time-filler-night-cream.html

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  10. Great post!! Thanks for sharing your tips. I recommend the podcast ‘Self Care Club’. It’s funny and insightful and the podcasters test out self care methods so we don’t have to!

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    1. Thank you so much! I'll have to give it a listen xx

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  11. Love the points you made here. It's so much more than what you look like and it can be huge journey for a lot of people. It feels like something I'm constantly trying to work on/ remind myself of X

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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  12. Thank you so much for this post! I really needed this right now.

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  13. Self-care can be SO different for everyone so im so glad you put together this post! Agreed that bad days are so normal and are so okay to help you find ways to deal and to help you learn!

    Ellie // www.thediaryofellie.com

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  14. I love this post! It's so important to recognise our importance and the responsibilty we have towards our own happiness!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  15. Gorgeous post, Della! Boundaries is one of my most important indications of my own self-love. I struggled with this in the past. I'm so happy to be at a good point now. Thank you so much for sharing xx

    www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

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  16. Self love is so important for ourselves, I loved reading this post Della! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  17. Love love love this post! So important to allow ourself the space to make mistakes and have bad days... and it only makes the good days feel better!

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

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  18. Love this so much, it is so important to learn to love yourself more, and it is a journey I'm working on daily!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that xx

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  19. Your thoughts on self-love allowing us to make mistakes and move on having learned in a healthy way connected with me the most. Self love lets us know ourselves. Knowing ourselves helps create a more solid bridge between us and the problems we face in the world. It is a lifestyle, a journey, and one it is never too late to embark on.
    Thanks so much for sharing!

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    1. Yes, this is so true! Thank you for your lovely comment xx

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  20. Thanks for this post. I've been feeling really down lately and your words was exactly what I needed <3

    Kate | https://asimplesliceofkate.com

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  21. This is such a beautiful post, I found it really touching. Self love is so important, and it’s so sad from such a young age we’re taught the opposite. I’ve been working at it for years but I still struggle with it sometimes. Thank you for sharing ❤️

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  22. This is such an excellent read and I truly agree with you!

    Amber | https://theunpredictedpage.com

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  23. This is such a great post Della! I love how you’ve really explained self love and I have to say I absolutely agree with you. There is so much positivity here! Thanks for sharing.

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  24. This is a beautiful post Della! I wish I could get to self love. I am working hard on that!

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    1. Thank you!! I'm sending all the good vibes to you to kickstart your self love journey xx

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  25. Thanks for sharing, I have learnt the past month that spending my time giving me some self love is the best way :)

    Nic | Nic's Adventures & Bakes

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  26. Fab post, and I 100& agree with you! I'm also terrified at the speed my 20s are going, I feel like I should be achieving more with my time. But it's so important to put ourselves and our mental health first, rather than push ourselves too much x

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  27. This is a great post, Della! I love self love and how big the movement has become, but it's important to remember that it isn't just skein deep and that acts of self love are internal too like giving ourself grace and setting boundaries xx

    mia // https://beautiful-inspiring-creative-life.com/

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  28. I loooove what I read! This is such a great post. I'm working hard on self-love too so this is so helpful to me! xx

    lenne | lennezulkiflly.com

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  29. I think people get mixed between loving yourself actually and loving yourself over someone in some type of way. You explained it very well. Thank you for sharing!

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  30. This is an amazing post! I completely agree with you. Self-love is the secret to living a fulfilling life.
    xoxo
    Lovely
    www.mynameislovely.com

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  31. So often we overlook the good within ourselves. Never taking the time to appreciate the beautiful human beings we are.

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  32. I don't think we can talk enough about the toxic nature of social media and how to go about keeping ourselves safe. It's easy to dismiss online interactions as being 'harmless' as they can't physically harm us in anyway, however, words can be just as (if not more) harmful than physical attacks! The sooner that we recognize that and acknowledge it's power, the sooner we can address it effectively.

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  33. You're so right. Self-love is so important and you've included a ton of reasons why.

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  34. I feel like everyone should read this post! I completely agree with everything you said, especially about cherishing each moment and putting yourself first. I've been trying to do all of these since lockdown, and even if I'm stuck at home I'm trying my best to make good memories. I've learnt to take breaks and not stress so much about school. Thanks for this Della!

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  35. what a great post! As my parents have always said, helping others is only so good until you neglect yourself. It's not selfish at all, it's what needs to be done - great post!

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  36. I love this post! Self love is so important! Thanks so much for sharing this

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  37. Love this post! Self-love is so important, as is learning from your mistakes and being able to grow as a person :) xx

    Holly | www.gollymissholly.uk

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  38. Really love these types of post - they always remind me of those reels I keep seeing about how you have to act like the main character in a story and live your life and enjoy. I'm terrible at self-love and it's something I'm really starting to work on and hopefully be able to grow with.

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  39. This is such a great post. Self love really is about taking care of yourself which in turn allows you to let other people see your best version

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  40. What a lovely post to read this morning! I think the fact we all deserve to be happy is the most important to me :)

    Katy | www.katystephenson.com | www.thegrownupsclub.com

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  41. Self love is so important to improve your overall wellbeing, but it is something I struggle with. I am always quite critical of myself whether that be how I look or things I feel I could have done better.

    But I since I have been diagnosed with 2 chronic illnesses due to an accident at work I have had to dramatically change my thought process around how I feel about myself and how I care for myself. I am very much still learning.

    Thank you for sharing your honest and open post.

    Lauren | www.bournemouthgirl.com

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