What they don't tell you about depression

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Anxiety and depression can go hand in hand for a lot of people, like me. I've spoken loads on my blog about my anxiety, how I overcome it, and the tips and tricks I've put in place to live with anxiety. However, when it comes to depression, it's not something I've aired online for a few reasons.

what they don't tell you about depression

Depression is a horrible illness to say the least and one that is hugely misunderstood by many, like anxiety that I think it's important to talk about it and bring awareness for those going through it. 

If you've been recently diagnosed with depression or are dealing with depression, here are the things nobody tells you about depression and how you can get help.

What nobody tells you about depression

It's very lonely

Any mental illness can be very isolating as like it says on the tin, it's an illness in your brain for the most part, with many physical effects too. Depression is no different and isn't easy to deal with. It's a constant battle every day to fight to get better and go against the voice in your head, that's feeding the constant negative thoughts. Depression will tell you many horrible things that aren't real but as it's a hard illness, not only going through it will make you feel isolated, you can then isolate yourself too as you don't want to feel like a burden (which fyi you're not).

Not everybody will understand and want to support you

The unfortunate thing with mental illness and depression, in particular, is that not everybody will understand what you're going through or want to help you. You will lose people along the way and not everybody will support you but that's okay, as they're not the right people for you. The right people will want to help you get better, they'll try their best to do all they can to understand what you're going through and get to grips with your illness. I'm very lucky to have a supportive network of friends who do just that.

It can come in waves

Depression doesn't mean you're always going to be in bed, not eating or moving, it comes in waves. People with depression have really bad days where they'll sit and physically can't do anything, they'll have days where it's really hard to get out of bed but they do it and move around their day like everything is normal. And, they also have happy and fun days, like everybody else. Living with depression doesn't constantly mean you're depressed, it has flair-ups like any other illness and it's how you care for yourself in those low times which is the most important.

Every day can be different and it can take one small thing which will trigger you off and put you into a low point - this is why it's so important to be self-aware about what is the stem for your triggers.

It's hard to do normal, everyday things

When I'm experiencing a depressive episode, doing things like making lunch, having a shower, or getting out of the house can seem like the hardest thing ever as I have no energy or motivation to do so. For the most part, I physically have to force myself to do all of the above, otherwise, I would just sit there for hours not eating, drinking or moving.

Only you can help yourself 

I'm not sure if everyone agrees with this point but from my standpoint, you can only help yourself. Everyone around you can throw hotlines and advice at you but unless you're willing to put in the work to listen to that advice and fight for yourself, then getting better is a tricky ballgame with depression. Getting out of depression is one of the hardest things ever as it's a fight to get out of bed in the morning, it's a fight to convince yourself you are good enough and deserve to live and it's a fight to want to get better too. When you decide to work on getting better, the road is hard but you can only do it for yourself, nobody can force you to.

It's not obvious if someone is depressed - it can be easily hidden

The one misconception about depression is those who have it, live in bed, and don't do anything with their day, however, that's not the case. Those who have depression can easily hide it, and I say this from my personal experience because sometimes it's easier to fake a smile than to explain what is going on in your head. Depression can affect every single person at any point in their life, it's not a certain group that gets it and has to deal with it. This is why it's even more important to be kind as you never know what people are going through around you. They always say, those who are the happiest and kindest have been through the most and it rings so true in terms of depression.

Everyone is different who has depression

Depression isn't one size fits all because those who have depression deal with it in different ways and also have different coping mechanisms. This is why when it comes to recovery, not every method works for everyone as our brains are all wired so differently.

Things you need to know if you've got depression

You are worthy and not a burden

Depression has a stigma attached to it that those who have it are lazy and 'have no reason to be sad' but that isn't the case at all. If you're dealing with depression, please know you are worthy, you are good enough and incredible in every way. It's the hardest thing to fight with your own mind every day but you're doing it and I believe in you. When you speak out about it, please know that you are not a burden. People are there, whether it's family and friends or professionals to help you and aid you to get better. You deserve love, you deserve the right help and to feel worthy of your life.

Your mental illness doesn't define you 

Your mental illness isn't you. If someone has cancer or broke their leg, it wouldn't be a definition of their being, as it's separate from who they are. You may have depression but there is more to you than that. You are not your mental illness and it doesn't define who are you are. You have your passions, you have your quirks, you have your goals, you have your heritage, your support network, and your memories. There is so much more to your existence than your mental illness I can assure you.

It can get better

Depression isn't easy but there is hope and it can get better. It may come in waves but with the right tactics, therapy, tips, and sometimes medication (if that works for you), there are ways to make it better. Everyone's route to recovery is different, whether it's through therapy, CBT, counselling, medication, or more hollistic methods, there are ways out there for you to get the support you need.

You're stronger than you think

You are so incredibly strong in every single way. I know how hard it can be to fight with your mind, be the lowest of lows, and still try and push myself up and it isn't easy. So let me reassure you, that you are doing your best, you really are. You're stronger than you think and what you're feeling right now will pass.

You deserve to be happy and live your best life

Everyone deserves happiness and to live the life they've always dreamt of and you're no different. Just because you live with depression, it doesn't mean you don't deserve that. You're worthy and deserving of every single ounce of love and happiness that is thrown your way. You are loved. You are good enough. You are powerful. You are wonderful you and you can get through this. Remember that.

How to get help

Living with depression isn't easy but there are many ways out there to get the help you need. You can contact your GP to refer you for therapy, counselling, or medication to see which route is right for you to get the support you need.

Alternatively, for immediate support and guidance, use the following hotlines. These services are free, anonymous, and are there for you when you need them.

Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (UK-wide)

Samaritans - Call 116 123 (UK-wide)

Mind UK - 0300 123 3393

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other thoughts do you have about this?

Thank you for reading <3

7 comments

  1. Thank you- awesome post!!

    We also don’t get told enough how depression isn’t always about crying and feeling sad.. sometimes we might think « meh- im not depressed, I dont even cry! ». While it is a general negative feeling, it’s also feeling numb to everything; and just so, so tired.

    We aren’t lazy!! It is our brain tricking us- and though getting help can feel like a unachievable mountain, it is doable. And yes- even YOU are worthy of it ❤️ Considering the amount of work your brain has to push through constantly with thoses two bastard, your chronic fatigue is legit- your energy is all eaten up by the illness.

    Kristina @ books-and-dachshunds.com

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    1. Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked this post! xx

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  2. This is such a raw and honest post - I relate so much with this. And I agree wholeheartedly that you are the only person who can help yourself - you really can't help unless the person actually want it.

    Thank you for such a personal post and sending all the love 💜

    Katie May x | postcardsfrom.co.uk

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  3. Great post! You definitely are stronger than you think :) thanks for sharing these unknown facts about a difficult illness x

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