Well, hello to you, my reader chums! Pregnancy has been a whirlwind so far. On one hand, I'm feeling incredibly blessed, all my dreams are coming true, and the baby is growing well, but the journey has been harder than I could have imagined.
Before I got pregnant, there were only a few close people to me who had gone through it, so I knew lots about their experiences and the general expectations of the first trimester, the tiredness, and the pains; however, there was a lot I either hadn't been told or just didn't realise would be a thing.
If you're pregnant for the first time and feeling alone in your emotions, symptoms, or how your body is changing, here is my take on all the things nobody told me about being pregnant.
It's a massive mental challenge
Everything I read and knew about pregnancy previously focused on the physical symptoms: tiredness, sickness, food aversions, cravings, back pain, and getting out of breath. But nobody prepared me for the mental challenge. With constant exhaustion came low motivation and a feeling of being down, especially in the first trimester. Needing naps just to get through the day and losing my usual routine really affected me.
I really struggled because I'm such a go-getter who loves to keep busy and achieve a lot in a day. I work for myself and have many side projects, but my motivation was low, lasting into my second trimester. Many days, I woke up feeling down and teary, wanting to stay in bed and watch TV. My natural instinct is to do things, but I had to embrace taking it easy.
It's also a mental challenge because coming to terms with my identity changing, how people viewed me, body changes, and accepting that there are limitations to things I can eat or do due to being pregnant. I also found myself questioning every little thing, when it came to exercising, eating, activities, and even sleeping, and whether they were safe for the baby. I haven't stopped worrying from the minute I found out that something could go wrong, which is a daily struggle!
All the trimesters are different for everyone
What I thought I knew: first trimester would be the hardest, the second trimester is the best, and the third trimester is physically difficult but a joy because you feel your baby. What I know now: the first trimester is exactly that, incredibly hard, and a new challenge. I suffered with nausea and intense hunger, constant exhaustion, and low energy and motivation.
With the second trimester, I did not snap back into 'everything is wonderful' straight away. In fact, apart from the nausea (which I was relieved went away after 11 weeks), I was still incredibly tired and had that low energy and feeling until I hit the halfway mark at 20 weeks. It was only from 20 weeks that I began feeling like me again, my energy was back, I felt happier and excited, and the mental struggle was a lot less. I've not experienced my third trimester yet!
With that in mind, just remember: your trimesters will be completely different from others, whether that's your sister, mum, or friend. Don't compare yours as honestly, there's no point, and you'll just find it frustrating, especially if they have 'better' symptoms than you.
Body changes are challenging
With pregnancy comes body changes, and even though I was aware of what would happen, it didn't hit until it actually happened, if that makes sense. Your boobs grow really fast, and for me, that was a shock. My belly changed. Things don't fit anymore.
For the first half of the pregnancy, it's more of a bloat, whereas when the bump actually starts showing, then it feels real and you can lean into it a bit more. I'm lucky for the most part, I've felt grateful for my body changes as I'm growing my favourite little human, and what a blessing that is. But there have been times when I've said some mean comments about my changing body.
Gender expectations are a real thing
Gender is a weird topic when you're pregnant, as everyone will have an opinion about what the baby will be, either because of your symptoms, how you're showing, or because they can see you as a girl mum or a boy mum. And of course, we as pregnant women have our predictions about who the baby is going to be.
Whatever your predictions and expectations, finding out the gender can be a mixed emotions day, because you go in picturing what either baby will be and come out with only one of them (if it’s a single pregnancy). I didn't think gender would be such a big thing for me until I had to process all the emotions about different expectations. Allow yourself to sit with any feelings you have and know that it's okay. You'll love your baby, whoever they turn out to be.
The exhaustion is real
I could write a whole book on the tiredness in pregnancy. Feeling tired all the time, having a good night's sleep, and still wanting to sleep more, and having random naps. Luckily, my tiredness was worst in the first trimester, but as I'm progressing and physically getting bigger, tiredness is increasing once again. Just remember, you are growing a human, and they will take all your good nutrients, push on your organs, and make you feel out of breath very easily.
You start not caring about little things
Over the years, I've gotten better with the let them theory and not caring what other people think, but in pregnancy, that hit on a whole other level. All the minor dramas, people's comments and opinions, and those not putting in energy, don't bother me anymore. My priority is me, my baby, my partner, and the family we're starting - and I love that for me, especially as a people pleaser who is always doing stuff for everyone else, that I’m the last resort.
I had to slow down
As I mentioned, the exhaustion and feeling low meant I didn't really have a choice in slowing down. This pregnancy has forced me to lean into the power of rest and surrender to sleep when needing it. I've stopped resisting and thinking I need to get a million tasks done, and it has really benefited my mental health and wellbeing.
Baby's movements start differently for everyone
I feel very lucky my baby is an active bean; however, just know that everyone experiences a baby's movements differently, and a routine doesn't start until around the 28-week mark of pregnancy. Try not to overly worry, but if something doesn't feel right, you can always speak to your midwife and get checked. Like the midwives keep telling me, I know my body better than anyone, and you do too.
Partner support is everything
One of my biggest gratitudes in this pregnancy is having a supportive partner, and it's the reason I've been able to deal with the toughest days of pregnancy. He has helped me in every way possible, and I'm forever thankful for our relationship and the father he'll be to our son. Whoever you have around you, lean into them in this time and ask for the support when you need it; you don't have to struggle on your own.
You won't feel like yourself (brain fog)
Baby brain is not a myth. My mind has certainly been working differently from pre-pregnancy. Sometimes I forget things, I can't gather my thoughts, or generally I don't feel like myself. I even feel like I'm going crazy at times!
People are nosy
Be prepared for unsolicited comments or questions, especially when you start showing. I don't mind answering them, but at times, there have been people who I barely know who ask personal questions, make comments on my body, and give an opinion, and I don't like it at all. It seems very invasive and nosy to me.
The beauty in feeling the baby move
I'll end it on a positive note - feeling the baby move in my womb is the biggest blessing and really connects me to them. There's nothing more magical than knowing they're in there and doing life alongside me. I'm so excited to meet them and see who they become.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What would you add?
Thank you for reading <3
