How to let a friendship go - my top 5 tips

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Going into my twenties, I've learned to realise that not every friendship is meant to last for a lifetime. A lifetime is long and it's not sustainable to keep hold of every connection you've ever had and that's okay. Friendships are a wonderful thing but it's also important when to know it's time to let go.

If you're going through a friendship breakup or need to let go of a toxic friendship, here are my best tips on how to do so.

How to let a friendship go - my top 5 tips

Know that it's okay if your friendship doesn't last

Growing up, we always expect our neighbour, child best friend, or the group we have in school to be with us for life and although for some that can happen, it doesn't always and that's okay. Some friendships are for a season, some are for a reason and some are for life - and this is what you need to remember with all friendships.

Friends come and go at school, where we live, at work, when travelling, if we become a parent and in all aspects of life and that's normal, and what life is all about. It's important to make connections and learn from others as it helps us grow as individuals. But just because those connections are strong and deep, it doesn't mean they're a soulmate connection. They don't have to be with you for the rest of your life to make a lasting impact on you. It's okay to let go if a friendship isn't bringing you the same joy, it's okay to let go if you've grown out of a friendship and it's okay to let go of that friendship if it is toxic. It's also okay to grow apart as life gets in the way, it doesn't mean the friendship you had didn't mean anything. In terms of who we surround ourselves with, we sometimes need to be a little bit selfish (even though this isn't selfish), to do what's best for ourselves and that can mean letting go of friendships. It can be hard but for the best. 

Accept you haven't failed as a friend

We all fear failure and rejection, that's why a lot of us are people pleasers or do things for others to make them like us, when really it's not necessary. When we let go of a friendship or walk away, it can often feel like some sort of a failure as we weren't able to keep up the friendship or make it work, however, that's not the case at all. Walking away from something that isn't serving you joy is one of the strongest things you can ever do for yourself. It doesn't mean you failed as a friend and you shouldn't ever feel guilty for doing what's best for you. You are not a failure. 

Explain to them why you need to let go

Walking away from a friendship is not an easy thing to do especially if it has been a long and deep friendship or you've known each other for a significant reason. However, just because it's hard, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Often, the hardest things in life are what make us better as humans. This point all depends on you and your connection with that person but I would advise you to talk to them and explain where you're at in terms of your friendship. They deserve to know why you walked away as in the long run, it could help them better themselves or make them better friends with other people. 

Do it gradually or all at once, whatever is easiest

This all depends on your relationship with your friend and why you're walking away, and what's easier for you. If you find distancing yourself gradually would work best then do that or if you'd rather cut ties quickly and effectively, go down that route. Each person is different in how they want to approach leaving a friendship but you need to do what's right for you and your mental health, and future. Do it cautiously and think the whole thing through and always ensure it's exactly what you want in life. As there's no point living with regrets.

Treat the healing process as a breakup

It's normal to grieve for a friendship, the same way you would for a relationship breakup because they bring that same level of love but in a platonic sense. They add value and fun to your life and you were friends with them for a reason so it's only natural to be sad and miss them. It's natural to want to reach out to see how they're doing or send your love. It's totally normal to go through the ups and downs of wanting them back in your life, but with most breakups, it's important to stay true to your decision in letting them go.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3


  1. Great tips! It's always hard to grow apart from a friend, but it happens to everyone.

  2. Your tips are true and realistic. Growing older we let people out of our lives because we stop being who we were and the frienship no longer offers us anything. My life story has proved that it just happens. Never had to do a "breakup" talk. We both knew that it just ended and life just kept happening with other friends. I loved this Della ❤️

  3. Great post Della! Every tip is true. I've gone through so many friend breakups throughout my life and sometimes they are just for the better. People grow apart and that's okay. Thanks for sharing x

    Lynn |

  4. Love all these tips, Della! Sometimes letting go is the best thing and the right thing to do. I just let it happen and don't bother to explain. Thanks for sharing these anyway! Might come in handy ^^

    lenne |


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