Well hello to you my reader chums! As I've gotten older, one thing I've gotten better at is not caring what people think and setting boundaries, protecting my peace and mental health. I will admit I am a people pleaser and it has been a difficult thing to start implementing those boundaries. However, the more I began setting boundaries and making my stand, the easier it became and the better I felt overall.

If you're struggling with setting boundaries or tending to people please, here is my advice on protecting your piece and setting boundaries.

Understand what you want first

Before you can set any boundaries, you need to realise exactly what you want. Do you want people to stop treating you like a doormat? Do you want people to communicate more effectively? Are you tired of being let down and making excuses for people? Whatever the 'peace' you're creating, you should be certain of exactly what it is and what you need to achieve to fully experience that level of peace in your life.

Consider how to share that information and what works with you

Communication works differently with everyone in your life, whether that's text, call, facetime or in person. You should consider how and when you want to explain your boundaries. Will you wait till you have a disagreement? Or will you explain a certain situation and how it made you feel - and how you want things to happen going forward. The more decisive you are in how you want to communicate can help you share that message in a digestable way.

Learn to say no - and be okay with it

No is a full sentence and learning how to say it and being confident in that choice can be difficult, especially if you're a people pleaser or care too much about what people think. But when you start learning how to say no and being okay with things you turn down or don't agree to, you'll begin to learn what you're okay with and what you're not okay with. And, in the future, saying no will become easier and you won't second guess it.

Learn to miss out and deal with FOMO (as you don't want to go anyway)

I think many of us say yes to social occasions or circumstances even when we're not comfortable going or don't want to go because we're scared to miss out or worried people will view us differently. However, part of setting boundaries and protecting your peace is saying no to those occasions and learning to miss out. Remember, you don't want to go anyway - instead, you can use that time to do something you really want to do or plan an occasion that suits you better with the same friends.

Take the space when you need it

Space and taking a breather are everything when protecting your peace. Whether you're in a social situation, someone has upset you or you need time to collect your thoughts, reflection moments can help you figure out the best boundaries for you - and how to continue implementing them. It can take multiple times to implement boundaries with others and that space can help you process your feelings about situations.

Be prepared for backlash

Not everyone will accept your boundaries easily, especially if they're manipulative or abusive. It's important to be prepared for this backlash and figure out what you want to do in that situation. Do you still want that person in your life? The preparation may be hard because you can't predict how someone will react to your boundaries.

Create consequences 

Consequences may sound like a serious word but if someone is disrespecting your boundaries, do you want to continue putting up with that behaviour? These consequences can vary from taking a break to ending that relationship, whatever is a good fit for you.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What would you add?

Thank you for reading <3