How to move on from a breakup | my top 10 tips

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Break-ups are really hard, I'm not going to lie to you. The separation, the processing, and then moving on is a difficult transition, but for the most part, is the making of something better for you and your life. I've written about how to deal with a break-up previously, but now eighteen months on, I've learnt and grown a lot more, and want to share that advice with you.

How to move on from a break up

Whether you're going through a breakup, are in the process of moving on, or can't seem to move on, here are my best tips on how to move on from a breakup.

Pursue your favourite things to do

I cannot stress to you how important it is to do things that make you happy at every point in life but especially when you're going through a life change or a hard time like a breakup. Pursuing your favourite things whether that's writing, travelling, riding a bike or being creative in any way, can really give you that positive boost you need. 

When you're dealing with the process of moving on from a breakup, it is similar feelings to grief and that's why channelling any energy you have into happy activities can really help you feel a little bit better - and give you something else to focus on.

Keep social with important people in your life

There's nothing worse than going through a hard time and bottling up all of your emotions, as essentially that'll not only make you feel worse but eventually, you will blow and it's not an effective way to deal with how you're feeling. This is why it's so important to keep social with those around you when moving on from a breakup. 

The important people in your life will want to help support you in your healing process and moving on from a breakup, and boost you up in any way they can. Even if you're not feeling your usual social self, try and give yourself a push as talking to someone does the world of good.

Know that it's okay to feel sad

This is something I struggled with when moving on from a breakup as I always had the mentality 'it has been a few months, you shouldn't be sad anymore' but this isn't the right mindset in any way. Moving on from a breakup is a big life change, especially if you've been together for a long time. You're essentially removing a significant person in your life who you spoke to every day, who you were intimate with and on a close level of emotion - and you need to process and get over that.

It's okay to feel sad if you miss them, it's okay to feel sad if you're hurting from what they did and it's okay to feel sad that you want them back. All these emotions are normal and it's important to allow yourself to feel and process those emotions rather than brushing them off or putting them aside. Cry it out, eat all of the ice creams and have your moment - it will help you feel better in the long run that you gave yourself that time to feel it all.

Block them on everything

This is probably a harsh tip to suggest as I know everyone's breakups are different, however, blocking your ex can do the world of good for you. Like they always say, 'out of sight, out of mind'. If you block your ex on social media and their number, it'll stop you from seeing what they're getting up to or contacting them when you're tempted to. And not knowing what is going on in their life as you physically can't see it, will allow you to have more room in your mind to focus on yourself and your life, rather than wondering about them.

Don't play the blame game

This is quite an important point to make. In order to move on healthily from a breakup, it's crucial to not blame everything on the 'horrid ex'. Granted, they may have caused you significant pain from breaking up with you and in the relationship, but it won't help by channelling negative energy towards them. If you have negative energy and hate you're channelling towards them, it'll make you feel more negative in general and make it harder to move on, as you're thinking about them. Rather than blaming them, think of the reasons why you're grateful the relationship is over, the positives that came out of it and take accountability too for your actions. 

Write them a goodbye letter

This is one of the most powerful and effective things I did months after my breakup as it gave me a form of closure as I was in the process of moving on. What I did was write a letter to my ex. Firstly, I wrote down all the things I'm thankful for that he did, then I wrote down all the things he did that hurt me, and lastly, all the things that I forgive him for. I never sent the letter but it was a way to release my emotions and put them all in one place, rather than the thoughts keep festering in my brain.

Box away the memories and photos or get rid

Similar to blocking them, this also works a treat. If you don't want to throw the photos and memories away that you have together, then box them all away. Put the box completely out of sight so you know you're not going to reach for it but you still have access to it that in years to come, you may want to get rid of it completely or want to reminisce and look over the memories - it'll all depend on how you feel.

When it comes to digital photos, if you're not ready to delete them completely or don't want to at all, back them up and then delete them off your phone so they're not there to look through.

Embrace the freedom of single life

Single life is an incredible thing. It's the opportunity to fully find yourself, pursue your passions, do things on your own clock and have a lot more freedom. I'm not putting down relationships in any way, but being single is a different sense of freedom and something to be celebrated more. Try and focus on the things you can do now you're single like having your bed to yourself or having more 'you' time - there are lots of perks you can focus on.

Imagine your future exactly how you want it to be

I love this point. Although moving on from a breakup means accepting that the life you planned with that person is no longer an option, it means you have the opportunity to create a new future, new goals and focus on exactly what you want. Whether that's starting a business, quitting your job, going travelling or simply having fun, your future is in your control and you can be exactly who you want to be.

Time really is the best healer

It's one of the oldest sayings in the book but time really is the best healer. In six months or a year time, the pain you're feeling right now will lessen, how much you think and miss them will get smaller and your focus and goals will compeltely change. And, I can asure you, you'll be further into your feeling of moving on. You've so got this. This too shall pass.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

63 comments

  1. This is all some really good advice as is acknowledging that it's almost always hard (even if some breakups are harder than others). And as an aside, della loves nutella is a GREAT blog name.

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  2. Oh man, I am SO GLAD my breakup days are behind me! Married for 10 years now, but I used to lose my mind over breakups before meeting my husband, lol...
    http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  3. Aww! Yes, break-ups are tough and it can as tough to really let go. I love your top tips for moving on, especially writing a goodbye letter and boxing up the photographs. I feel like the writing of the letter is a great way to write all unresolved feelings away and while boxing up the memories makes for a symbolic goodbye.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  4. I've been happily married for many (many!) years now but I remember how tough my first break-up was. Teenage me could certainly have done with your tips! After breaking-up with me, my girlfriend then decided a week or so later that she had made a huge mistake and asked if we could get back together. I still loved her ... but I said no because I was hurt and blamed her for that. What a muppet! Oh well, it all worked out for the best in the end. :-)

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    1. Aw thank you!! Oh bless you, but yes, things always work out right in the end x

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  5. Break ups are hard. It can be so hard to let go and stop thinking about what happened. These are great tips. I personally always try to stay away from anything that reminds me of them. I also try not to talk about them.

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  6. The other day, I went through the blame game haha and I had to stop it and avoid it. Blaming others for my failure is never a good thing.

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  7. Such lovely advice for anyone going through this. Breaking up with someone can cause a myriad of reactions and it's good to know that you eventually work your way through it. Fab post!

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  8. These are really great tips on what can be a difficult time to navigate. I wrote a goodbye letter to my ex and although it was never sent, it really helped me mentally.

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  9. Break up's can be tough, but these tips are great! I think blocking them on everything is the best solution as there is then no temptation! Great post gal x

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  10. I'm glad you noted it's okay to be sad as part of moving on.

    It's not often viewed that way. Rather quite the opposite. But it's a little like grieving because you've lost something/someone that meant a lot to you. And grieving forms part of the process of letting go, moving on.

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  11. For me, cutting contact and keeping busy works. Also don't get drunk on your own haha!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  12. I think with things like this, time is the best healer as you say. With time, you gain perspective and things are less sad the further you get away from them. I love this post and I hope it will help others in a similar situation x

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  13. I don't think it is harsh to block them as it is a form of self preservation and the last thing you want is seeing or hearing things which could affect your emotional stability. Great post, lots of useful tips.

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  14. Breakups are horrible, I hope that I don't have to go through one ever again. You're right tho, keeping busy and getting out there and being social will help time pass. Time is the best healer!

    Rosie

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  15. Gosh I've had some awful breakups! Luckily I've been in a LT relationship so hopefully no breakup here! These are great tips. It really is so hard x

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  16. Love this!!! It can be so hard, especially if you've been together for a long time. I think the great tips for me have always been to allow yourself time to be sad and grieve your relationship, give yourself time to rediscover yourself again and definitely embrace single life again. There is always life after a break up & your happiness will always return.

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  17. It can be super hard not to think 'What if' but have to remember you are not with them for one reason or another and that does not change easily. Great article!

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  18. This is brilliant advice for anyone who's going through a breakup! I think blocking them on everything is a really good point that I never would've thought of doing x

    https://www.femaleoriginal.com

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  19. This is amazing advice for anyone going through a break up right now, unfollowing your ex on social media is key, otherwise you end up getting obsessed with what they're up to and whether they're seeing somebody new or not! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  20. I really could have used this post 10 years ago haha. I was so stuck on this guy that I physically felt like my heart was ripping in two when we broke up. Such great advice for anyone going through a break-up! Side note, I am so glad we broke up though, I now have a loving partner of 9 years and a beautiful son.

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    1. Aw bless you!! We all do it, I'm so glad you're happy now x

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  21. You’ve shared some great tips for moving on after a break up. Recognizing that it’s okay to be sad is such an important one. Thanks for sharing.

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  22. These are all great tips, Della. Wallowing it's definitely the best thing you can do x

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  23. Great tips! I have a feeling I'll definitely be referring back to this in the future. I definitely love the idea of writing a letter - I do that now with friends etc and it genuinely makes you feel so much lighter! Thanks for sharing x

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  24. Awesome post - these are 10 great ideas to help ease the separation/transition from the relationship. For myself, I use to dive head first into hanging out with friends and it really worked well, so was glad to see that on your list! Thanks for sharing :)

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  25. I totally agree with you about all of these points! So important that you surround yourself with people so you can heal and not feel lonely. It can take some time, especially if trauma is involved. It's okay to block and get rid of things. Thanks for sharing these pointers!

    Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com

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  26. great post, thanks for sharing. time do can heal everything.
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  27. It is important to have a free soul and love yourself.
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  28. This is such a useful post with helpful advice - I wish I had come across it when I broke up with my ex.

    Esterella | esterella.co.uk

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  29. This is really great advice! I’ll be passing it on my to my friend who’s going through a breakup at the moment. I made sure that she unfollowed her ex, it’s so hard to see them move on so it’s best to unfollow! X

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  30. I haven't had a breakup in over 11 years but I remember that last one so vividly. I was devastated, everything was hard and I was really heartbroken. I love your tips, it IS ok to cry, crying it out made me feel better. Time is the best healer so let it do its thing!

    Rosie

    https://www.loverosiee.co.uk

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  31. My current boyfriend and I broke up in our second year together and it was the most dreadful 2 months of my life. I honestly thought my life was never going to be the same again. I was unmotivated, confused...I don't know, thinking about it makes me cry lol. So yeah, I know how it feels. Thankfully, we're back together and we've learned. I love your tips. I definitely pursued my hobbies to distract myself. Thanks for this!


    https://www.lifebeginsattwenty.com/

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    1. I'm sorry you went through that but I'm glad you're okay now - thanks so much xx

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  32. Love the idea of writing a goodbye letter as a way of giving yourself some closure. These are great tips, too.

    xx Katie
    datingbitch.com

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  33. These are amazing tips! It's been a while since I had a breakup, but I remember how much I've worked on myself after that breakup. I think it's a good idea to self-reflect after a breakup, it can really help to see the situation clearly, so you don't blame yourself for things that are not your fault. Blocking the person everywhere is definitely crucial, especially if it was a hard brakeup. It makes the whole process easier. I think the best tip here is to embrace the freedom of single life. I loved being single, because that was the time when I found myself. I could focus on me.
    Thank you for sharing these tips!

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