Not everyone is going to like you - and how to get over that

 Well hello to you my reader chums! There are billions of people on this earth and many you aren't likely to meet in your lifetime, however, the thousands you do meet, the likeliness is they won't all like you - and that's okay.

Beach sunsets

People not liking you don't have any sort of reflection on you as a person, most of the time it's either down to them or you're completely different people, that's normal. We can't get along with everyone, that's not humanely possible or feasible.

Whether you're struggling with not being liked or can't seem to make friends because of this, here are my tips on getting over it.

Learn to love and focus on yourself

Self-love and self-confidence is the key with everything in life and especially, about feeling better with who you are and what your life entails. They always say you can't love anyone else until you love yourself and the phrase rings so true. Loving yourself is more than simply loving what you look like. It's about loving who you are, loving your flaws, respecting yourself, caring for your mental health, and removing toxic energy from your life. Loving yourself means caring for yourself.

You're probably thinking, how does this help if people don't like me? Well, when you love yourself, you'll find you don't need validation from others, and that means in the form of people liking you or want to be your friend. If you love yourself enough, one you'll be comfortable with your own company but two, you'll be comfortable with rejection and know it's okay that this certain person doesn't like you. 

Reassure yourself there's nothing you can do about it

Reassurance is a powerful thing to do for the things that worry, terrify or upset you - and this is one of those situations to use it. It's hard to reassure yourself, I completely get it, especially if you have a naturally anxious brain like myself. However, reassuring yourself that it's out of your control and you can't do anything to help this person like you is so important.

The best way to do this is with affirmations. You could practice affirmations like 'I am worthy', 'I love myself', 'I'm important' and 'I can't control this situation' as these will reinforce the idea that there is nothing you can do to make this person or a lot of people will like you. Positive and realistic affirmations will also help you see things in a much clearer light and put things into perspective.

Accepting the matter

Accepting is the first step of overcoming any type of upset and this includes knowing not everyone is going like you. It took me ages to accept this fact as I'm the biggest people pleaser possible and want everyone to be my friend. However, when I stopped focusing on what everybody else thought of me and more on what I think of myself and value about myself, I found this fact a lot easier to accept.

Once you accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you, you'll have more headspace to focus on more important things including your career, loving yourself, following your dreams, and pursuing the existing relationships around you.

Remind yourself of your loved ones

This leads me nicely onto this point. Sometimes, we're so focused on ensuring everyone likes us, we forget what's right in front of us. Whether you have great parents, a loving family, a partner who adores you, or a group of friends that always have you're back, we all have someone that loves us - or are on our way to find that person. Instead of focusing on why some people don't like you, turn your energy to those who do and what you can do to develop your relationship more with them. I can assure you that'll bring you a lot more happiness.

Spend quality time with yourself

Alone time is a cherishable joy. I don't think I realised how important it was or how much I enjoyed it until the pandemic, and I was forced into spending a lot of time alone, with socialisation being taken away from us. However, I'm glad I had that time to learn to love to be on my own, and now, I need to have that time alone in order to feel a lot calmer and happier about myself. It's a time I use to reflect, plan and work on areas of my life, as well as to relax.

Spending quality time with yourself will feed into learning to love yourself. It'll teach you more about who you are, what you love to do, what makes you happy and sad but also, will make you realise you only need to rely on yourself. Having this time will also give you the thinking space to practice the affirmations and accepting the fact that not everyone will like you. But you probably won't even need to as that reflective time will also make you realise everything you're grateful for and how it's not necessary for everyone to like you.

Life is a wonderful thing and there are people in this world for everyone. Just because you haven't found that true best friend or partner, it doesn't mean you're not worthy or they're not coming. The best things in life come when you least expect them so at the minute, focus on loving yourself and being the best version of yourself - and the rest will come later.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

59 comments

  1. Yes! This post is so good. I always strive to be a people pleaser, but sometimes you just gotta realize that you can't please everyone and not everybody is going to like you. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  2. This is such a good read! Thank you so much for the awesome tips, Della xx

    lenne | lennezulkiflly.com

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  3. Hi Della, what a great post! It's totally true that not everyone will like you. Learning to love myself and focus on myself was the best idea I've had! Thanks for sharing, Alicia

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  4. Great post. I definitely used to try to please everyone but in the last few years I've learned that not everyone will like me and I don't have to like everyone. And that's OK!

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  5. I am definitely a huge people pleaser but I am not that bothered whether people like me or not. Of course it is nice to be liked by people but I don’t need everyone to like me. Sometimes we just don’t get on with people and that is ok, thanks for sharing xx

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  6. I think that this is such an important message to share. I learnt this as a kid but because it was something that was kind of embraced, it wasn't such a shock. My mum always used to say, if everyone is the same, the world would be very boring!
    Rosie

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  7. Ruth| Ruthiee loves Glamour10 August 2021 at 05:50

    This is a nice post to be honest. I have never really been a people pleaser and I am super thankful for that. It's true that not everyone's gonna like me and the fact is sometimes you don't have to do anything to make people not like you. I don't beat myself up when I find that someone doesn't fancy me. In my opinion, the only thing that really matters is the fact that I am in love with myself.

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  8. This is such an important topic to discuss. As we grow and get older from adolescence a hard lesson to learn is that no you will not be everyone's cup of tea, but that's a natural part of life and not a fault. Enjoyed reading this post and the advice is realistic and authentic!

    -Gigi Lee| https://www.guidancebygigi.com

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  9. Agree with this so much! As a fellow people pleaser, I completely get it how hard it is to accept and realise that there's nothing you can do about! Learning to spend time with yourself and who is beside you, it was the answer for me. As you said we can't all be friends. x

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  10. I love the absolute positivity in this post! I’ve learned the friends that I can count on the most when I need them are my family. Your post really brings perspective. Thanks for sharing.

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  11. I've reached a point in my life where I couldn't give two hoots if someone likes me or not! This post is full of great advice how to handle this sort of thing! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  12. Big big big yes to all of this. I've always tried to be myself in situations rather than being too much of a people pleaser but then I'd stress about little things that people took something the wrong way etc afterwards and it's exhausting. I think I'm finally at a point where I've accepted the things you've talked about here but it's been forever since I was in a big social situation so I hope I haven't gone backwards! These are great tips x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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  13. Yeah, it took me so long to realise this but now I just don't care! If people don't like me then that's their problem. If I get the impression they dont like me then I dnt bother with them.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  14. Yes! A great post. As a huge people pleaser it was a good reminder that I can't control everyone or everything and I need to look to myself more. Thanks!

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  15. This is such important advice, thanks for writing about this topic! I feel like as human beings we have a need to make everyone like us, but we need to remember that not everyone will always be our kind of people and that's okay.

    Kate | https://asimplesliceofkate.com/

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  16. This is something that took me a really long time to learn and accept. Now that I’ve gotten a little bit older I find that I simply don’t care. I don’t like everyone I come across, so it makes perfect sense for that to be a two way thing.

    Thanks for a wonderful post!

    Em x

    Www.Emsworldblog.com

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad that you feel more comfortable about this topic now x

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  17. These are great tips, Della! x

    mia // https://beautiful-inspiring-creative-life.com/

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  18. Yes, I want to be a likable person but I think it is so important to like myself and love who I am instead of focusing on shaping myself to make myself more likable to others. Love your thoughts on how spending quality alone time helps with this!

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  19. This post is so good! I wouldn't say that I'm a people pleaser per say but I set myself up to such high standards so I do too much! Such a great post, babe xx

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

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  20. Love this! This is definitely something that I've been working on a lot recently

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  21. Great read Della, probably a generalisation but I think struggle with this more than men, we're kinda raised to be people pleasers and it takes a long time to undo that and be okay with not being universally liked. Remembering the tips you've set out really helps xxxx

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  22. I think being well-liked is something lots of people want- and it can hard to get over when you’re a bit of a people pleaser like me! But these are great ideas thank you!

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  23. Great post and great tips! Obviously nobody doesn't want to be liked but at the end of the day, there's really no point wasting your energy on it because you can't control what other people think. There's always going to be someone who has a problem with what you do, so you might as well just do it anyway!

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  24. Yessssss, it's taken me YEARS to learn to accept that I can't please everyone all the time, and that it's NOT a reflection on me. Thank you, Della, this needs to be said a lot more than we do!

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    1. I'm so glad you've come to this conclusion, it's definitely a learning process xx

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  25. Amazing post, i have these issues these days, that i am comfortable in some way that others dont accept it, so i have to accept the matter than its okay to just be like that, not all things is going to be easy, so thank you for sharing, amazing blog!

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  26. I am people pleaser and I have struggled with this for years. Its so hard to stop feeling like I have stop caring what people think of me. I do believe though as I am getting older that I am starting to care less and less. Thank you for these words of encouragement.

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  27. This is so true. It's impossible to please everyone and most of time it isn't personal.

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  28. I absolutely love this post! It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter people with whom you disagree, and these are fantastic tips to handle the situation!
    xoxo
    Lovely
    www.mynameislovely.com

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  29. Such a great post Della, it's so important to remind ourselves of that. I'm a people pleaser and I really struggle with people not liking me, but I try to remember that I can be "the juiciest peach in the fruit bowl, there's always going to be someone who doesn't like peaches"! Thank you for sharing x

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  30. Very nice post, Della. I used to be all up in arms when I felt disliked by people but over the years, I've accepted it as part of life. You can't please everyone and that's perfectly fine x

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  31. I love reading your posts, especially the ones like this. I find them so eye opening and freeing! I find it hard when people seem a little off as I hate the thought that I am not liked, but these tips are going to really help me! Thank you for this post x

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