How to create a safe zone within yourself

 Well hello to you my reader chums! This post is something I've learnt about recently; in the sense that whatever you feel about yourself will radiate how you think everybody views you. For instance, if you want to feel loved by everyone around you, you need to love yourself first and the same goes with feeling safe.

Feeling safe is very important to me and having people around me who are a safe space is my top priority. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by strong and supportive people who I feel my safest around and can be my best self. 

How to create a safe zone within yourself

Whether you're looking to create a more positive environment around you or find assurance in yourself, here is how to create a safe zone.

Think about why you don't feel fully at one with yourself

This is the most important point with any issue that you have about yourself, because once you figure out the stem of what is causing your pain, then you can begin to work on it - and that goes with creating a safe zone in yourself. If yourself isn't a safe zone, in the fact that you talk badly about yourself and you're not comfortable with who you are, or you don't trust yourself then being yourself fully will create a lot of anxiety - as you're not seeing your true potential or how good you really are.

You need to come to the cause of your deep down feelings, accept them and accept who you are in order to begin creating that safe zone.

List all the reasons you're feeling this way and solutions

The next step is all about taking the actions of these causes. Once you understand why you're feeling a certain way, list all those things down of how you're feeling, and then write another list of where you want to be and how you want to feel (this will be your safe zone.) And then, write another list of the limiting thoughts that are stopping you from getting there.

Once you see the limiting thoughts listed on paper, you can start to come up with solutions to get from who you are to what you want to be and then, the what you want to be, will usually be along the lines of being your happy and best self - and that will aid you in creating a safe zone within yourself.

Start your journey with self-love

I preach about self-love a lot on my blog as honestly, I believe it's the true source of finding happiness within yourself and your life. I always say, once you know your worth and love yourself, you can take on the world - as it's completely true. How you view yourself will radiate to how you see the world, the people you surround yourself with and following your goals.

By learning to love yourself, you'll already be on the way to creating a safe zone inside yourself as you will be in the process of learning to be happy about yourself.

Remove negative energy from your life

I talk about negative energy and toxic people a lot as it's so important to fill your life with people who deserve to be in it and value you for who you are. If people aren't reciprocating the positive energy you give to them, then they shouldn't be a part of your life, and it's necessary to recognise that and know when to cut ties.

When you remove negative energy and people, the noise that they were creating about you, will slowly heal and you can focus on yourself and making that safe zone. And, it gives you the chance to extend the safe zone in you with the good people you surround yourself with.

Practise gratitude and journal progress

I wish I practised gratitude more when I was younger as honestly, it's the best thing to change my mindset into a more positive one and live a happier life, in general. Journalling is great for this, as you have somewhere openly to write down your grateful thought every day. When you express gratitude, you'll feel a lot better about your life and what you're aiming for, and this will feed into creating a safe zone.

Set boundaries with yourself and others

Setting boundaries is so important and something I wish we all learnt growing up. It's important to set them for other people but also for yourself so you don't burn out, overwork or push yourself too hard in the wrong direction. Productivity is important but toxic producivity is also a thing and can have a detrimental effect on your mind.

Setting boundaries with people can be on a personal level when to say no and them treating you right and it's the same process you need to do with yourself. Say no when things aren't right, treat yourself with kindness and as you would your best pal. With boundaries, you'll then be more self-aware when people cross them or if you cross them yourself.

Only surround yourself with people who you can be your authentic self with

As I've gotten older,  I've learnt that not everyone will be my friend and I don't need to be everyone's friend. It's important to surround yourself with the right people who get you, that you feel most comfortable with and you can be your true self around. When you're not your true self acting like an imposter in a sense, that's when you will find yourself feeling anxious or on edge as in a sense, you're living a lie.

Surround yourself with the right people as then you can be the best version of yourself and you'll always feel like you and your group os a safe zone.

Spend time and date yourself regularly

I only started to appreciate the importance of this recently and the value that dating yourself really is. The only time you can truly figure out who you are and what you want is when you're alone, with no distractions or influence from other people. And, doing this on the regular basis, will allow you to create a safe haven within yourself as you can learn what things you enjoy doing and what you don't. Whereas, when you're with others, you can get swayed. Being alone will really help you figure out a lot of things and give you the headspace to think deeply.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have?

Thank you for reading <3

69 comments

  1. What a wonderful post. I feel like you've become my guru for my own mental health. I love the idea of dating myself. I have recently started going on nice, long walks on my own to clear my head and I always come back much happier. It's helping me work through stuff in my brain without having to talk it all over a thousand times

    Rosie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you so so much, that comment has made my day! I'm glad you loved the post x

      Delete
  2. Such a great, helpful post filled with lots of good advice as always! I really enjoyed this, 100% agree with your point on self-love, you reach a level of content when you're in that mindset.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Gemma
    www.thegemword.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much lovely, that means a lot xx

      Delete
  3. This was a nice read! I so love your advice on setting boundaries with yourself and others. That is so true, a lot of people are pushing themselves to extreme and that is very bad. It is important to stay within our limits. Such great advice!

    Inna | https://thedaiilysunlight.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. I loved reading this post Della, you always give such amazing advice for mental health! I love how you said about setting boundaries for yourself, that's so important x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much lovely, I appreciate it! xx

      Delete
  5. This was another great post! I always come here for advices and never come out of it empty handed! I think that getting to the root of the problem and making a list of limiting beliefs and where you want to get is great, as well as self-love! Thank you for sharing x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww thank you so much lovely, I really appreciate your kind comments xx

      Delete
  6. Lovely post! I'm such a strong believer in getting rid of any negative energy and ensuring that you are in a safe, happy place! This means a lot of self-love and doing what's right for you! Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This was an article I didn't even know I needed to read until I'd read it, but now I can say that I thoroughly appreciate you sharing. I've been feeling incredibly "off" lately and practicing these things could be really beneficial. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Valuable tips, gratitude is the key. Such a lovely post..

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love this! My biggest tip is to not bother with people that don't seem to care about you. I've spent so long trying to impress others and forget to invest in those that already care. Now I only invest in relationships where I know and feel wanted and that really helps me to feel good about myself.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love this post! Since the start of the pandemic I've tried to become more self-reliant, and accept that I can make myself as happy as anyone else. With lots of time to work on myself away from my boyfriend, it's really been a time of growth x

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is such a useful post. No matter how good I'm sometimes come day when I don't feel the best and this post really help me. Thank you for sharing.

    New Post - https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2021/04/viktor-rolf-bonbon-vs-hugo-boss-scent.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've never done journaling, but practicing self gratitude and appreciating the parts of you and your life that you love is SO important!

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is such a helpful post. I've been setting boundaries for the last couple of years and it really helps my mental health. I love the idea of dating yourself too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, I'm really glad that has helped you x

      Delete
  14. This is such a helpful and inspiring post! I love how you touch on identifying the causes and working through these. One of my tips would be try to celebrate the little things, as they are the building blocks to the overall (if that makes sense) with self-love.

    thanks for sharing :)
    Aimsy xoxo
    Aimsy’s Antics

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think one of the hardest things to combine is setting boundaries, so you can find quality time for just yourself. I'm still discovering what exactly that means, and that not all time on my own is necessarily 'quality', but this provides lots of valuable advice!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is such an important post and having a safe zone within myself is something i never really thought about before. I'll definitely be giving this some thought when I'm next journaling.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is such an inspiring post! I love how you touch on different point and made the explanation so easy. Great post

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love this! Any advice for handling those negative (very negative) people when they're colleagues and you just can't refuse to work with them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I would just keep them at arm's length - only talk to them when you really have to and avoid making small talk if you can. If you engage less then eventually they'll get bored and not socialise as much with you x

      Delete
  19. I love this post so much! I think it is so important to surround yourself with people who allow you to be yourself!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is such a positive post and so helpful! I love the idea of dating yourself - this really needs to be a priority and one that I’ve really found helpful during lockdown. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  21. removing negative energy is such an important point. It can be quite hard to do and some thought may be needed to think how to do it but definitely worth it for the long term

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is such an important post and I think it is essential for us to all set boundaries and know what makes us feel comfortable and safe! I definitely think that removing toxic relationships/negative energy is key for us to live a more positive life. It can be difficult at first but beneficial in the long run x

    ReplyDelete
  23. Removing negative energy in the forms of friendships and even objects is a beautiful way to free up space for creating a safe zone within ourselves. I also love your point on surrounding myself with people I can be myself with. When we hide in ourselves, there is no room to be ourselves, much less a nurture a safe zone.
    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is so true, thank you for your lovely comment x

      Delete
  24. What a great post! I really think self-love is super important, it changed my life completely. Thanks for sharing :)

    xoxo Olivia | http://www.oliviaandbeauty.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Great post. Thought provoking and a reminder we need to be kind to ourselves first. Thanks for sharing )

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank you for sharing, I have started to create one of these, but sometimes other people don't seem to respect that which is a shame, I just have to do more for this to be more respected.

    Nic | Nic's Adventures & Bakes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely get that! I wish you well on your journey of creating that safe space x

      Delete
  27. Loved this post. You've mentioned so many great points I've never thought about, I love the idea of dating myself!


    Tash - A Girl with a View

    ReplyDelete
  28. I really enjoyed reading this post, Della! I truly believe in seeing people's positive energy and feeling it radiating off them. I often stick to people who make me feel safe and I never thought about doing that for myself for other people too! Thank you for sharing xx

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

      Delete
  29. This is such a lovely post. I'll be honest it's rare that I take the time to feel at one with myself so I'll definitely be using these tips.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Such a great post! This is definitely all something I've learnt the older I've gotten. I think the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people that make you happy & people you can be your authentic self around.

    Claire.X
    www.clairemac.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  31. Soo many people forget or never think setting boundaries is an act of love to the self. Many people I talk to feel they are being " mean" by telling others "no" or setting limits. So glad you mentioned and discussed that here.

    Great post!

    -Gigi|https://www.guidancebygigi.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. Such a great post! I completely agree about removing the negative energy from your life. It's so draining when you're surrounded by negativity. Thanks for sharing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is such a lovely post, I really enjoyed it and can't wait to read more in the future! x

    ReplyDelete
  34. Looking after your own mental health is so important and by allowing ourselves to be still and sit with our feelings, we can allow our thoughts to surface and from here we can usually find a clearer path. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh I love this, Della! I'd never thought about creating a safe zone, let alone making time to date myself (LOVE that idea!). We get so caught up in our day-to-days that making ourselves a priority just doesn't happen. Thank you for the reminder x

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading my blog! I hope you enjoyed this post and found it helpful in anyway. I'd love to hear any feedback you may have.