How to overcome your anxiety | my tips and tricks

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Anxiety is something I've had to learn to cope with for a good chunk of my life and it's still an ongoing battle to this day, as you may have read in my letter. However, it's something over time that I've vastly improved on and I've gotten to the point where I've learnt my coping mechanisms and triggers, and can control it to an extent.

How to overcome your anxiety | my tips and tricks

Overcoming anxiety doesn't have a quick fix, it's not easy and there's no way that I'm actually fully recovered. However, I'm now in a position where I can fully understand my anxiety, what causes it, and how I'm able to deal with it. Anxiety is different for each person, including triggers and coping mechanisms, but there are methods I've used that can be successful for you too. It's very much a trial and error thing to see what will work for you - and with perseverance, you can get there. Also, it may come without saying but I'm no professional, these are just things that have worked for me, and I hope they benefit you in some way.

 I believe in you. We're in this together.

Stepping out of your comfort zone

You may have heard this a thousand times but I can assure you in the long run, it is effective and will help you in more ways than one. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very subjective and can be different for every person. For me in regards to anxiety, this was basically any social interaction that wasn't in my 'safety bubble' ie my best friends and my family. I would really struggle to go to big social events without freaking out, going into the office, and anything unexpected that would occur, socially. They were all huge triggers for me.

I got to the point where I didn't want that anymore, I wanted to be like my friends who didn't have to worry about leaving the house or jumping on public transport or going to a social event, so I pushed myself. This wasn't easy in any sense as I was terrified of stepping away from what I knew in my own safe little paradise, but it was needed. I started small by walking to my local shops on my own and then doing things like getting on the bus and hanging out with bigger groups of people and even travelling (believe it or not I used to have terrible anxiety around it and now it's my favourite thing.). It all started out very small and then I began to push myself harder and faster to constantly see if I could do it. The outcomes were lots of crying and panic attacks but eventually, after the constant pushing, I got to the realisation with a lot of things that 'this is fine, I can do this.'

Figuring out your triggers 

I cannot stress to you enough how incredibly important this is and how it will really help you overcome what you're going through. The key to finding methods of treatments is discovering the cause in the first place, as it can really help you understand what's going on. Figuring out my triggers was again no easy thing, it took years of really pinpointed what would cause different parts of my anxiety. Some things would cause me to feel anxious, others would cause panic attacks, and other things, I'd be so anxious for days on end that I couldn't shift the feeling.

When you begin feeling anxious or have a panic attack, try to reverse your thought pattern back to before that moment and figure out what was on your mind or a situation that happened that caused it all. And then write it down, and keep doing that in different scenarios until you get a list of possible causes. The things that are listed multiple times will probably be your main triggers - and from that, you can figure out a way to prevent or work on those triggers.

For instance, my biggest trigger is not feeling good enough and that goes in any sense; socially, in myself, or at work so if someone says something or I feel like that for some reason, it can really trigger me into an anxiety episode.

Exposure therapy

This is probably the harshest type of way to deal with anxiety and I wouldn't recommend it if you're not ready for a harsh reality. Exposure therapy is basically being pushed in at the deep end and facing your fear head-on, or in this case your anxiety trigger. There's probably a better explanation from a medical professional but that's how I understand it to happen.

I experienced exposure therapy not really out of choice but more my friends trying to do what's best for me - and I'm so glad they did. They brought me along to night clubs, took me onto the tube (I used to be really anxious in huge crowds and tight spaces) and into big social gatherings. And although it was completely daunting initially and I experienced way too many breakdowns and panic attacks (which they helped me through), over time it got better and easier.

Surrounding yourself with the right people

I cannot stress this enough. Dealing with anxiety is truly hard as often it can feel so isolating and it'll never end - and that's why you need people around you to support and understand you. If your family and friends don't have anxiety themselves, it can be hard for them to understand. However, if you explain what you're going through and talk it out regularly, they'll know what to do if you're having a panic talk or a bad anxiety day. It's important to cut the people out of your life that is toxic and won't help you in any way as they'll just add to your anxiety.

Learning what helps your anxiety

Once you've figured out the triggers and created a better environment for yourself to deal with your anxiety, you can find the treatments that will work for you. This is different for every single person. You may find breathing exercises are your thing, or getting out in the open and going for a walk, or hiding away for a few hours under your blanket, or talking it out with someone. We all have that one thing that can make us feel a little better when anxiety hits - and once you've sussed it, dealing with your anxiety will be a lot easier.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have for overcoming your anxiety?

Thank you for reading <3

75 comments

  1. Great tips! Learning about anxiety and triggers definitely helped me. I also did gradual exposure rather than jumping straight into the deep end and that worked amazingly! :)

    Anika | chaptersofmay.com

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    1. Thank you so much lovely! I'm really glad that worked for you x

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  2. These are some great suggestions. Working outside your comfort zone is a must for me and after I have done it, I feel really happy and proud. Thank you for sharing your tips!

    Lauren

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  3. Learning about what triggers my anxiety really helped me to overcome it and I'm in a much better place now, a great post full of amazing advice! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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    1. I'm so glad to hear that, thank you so much xx

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  4. This is such a great and helpful post. Thank you for sharing your personal experinece and how you overcoming anxiety.

    New Post - https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2020/11/ysl-black-opium-eau-de-parfum.html

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  5. This sounds difficult. But often those things most worth it are.

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    1. Exactly that, the hardest things to overcome are the most worthwhile in the end x

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  6. This is such a great post for you to have shared. Well done for being so candid and open about your experiences. These tips are going to help so many people!

    Rosie

    https://www.loverosiee.co.uk

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  7. This is an amazing post! I struggle with aniety a lot which then triggers my depression so these tips were great to nip it in the bud!

    Love Demi xo

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  8. Thank you for sharing! It's hard to speak about sometimes but all these tips can help so many people xx

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  9. Really nice post. Love the tips you shared and how they helped you as well.

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  10. What a great post, thank you for sharing. Totally agree that pushing your comfort zones is massive, everyone says it and sometimes it's not easy, but it really does make a difference xx

    Hannah | https://luxuryblush.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you! Exactly, it makes a real difference xx

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  11. What an amazing post. figuring out what your triggers are really is of great help. Hope all those struggling with anxiety get a better hold of it as time goes on.

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  12. I love these tips! I definitely agree that it is really important to figure out what your triggers are and then devises coping mechanism for dealing with them!

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  13. Thank you for these tips. I feel like learning about my triggers will definitely help as a first step to dealing with anxiety.

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    1. Thank you, it's the main thing that really helped me come to grips with it xx

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  14. This is such a great read and something that I needed to hear right now. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Love Victoria,

    www.doorwaysanddresses.com

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  15. Thank you for sharing this, such a helpful post. I think learning about triggers is a great way to help anxiety and for me, exposing myself to the situation is what scares me most but I think helps too.

    Tash - A Girl with a View

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  16. Great tips. I spent almost a decade with a really severe debilitating anxiety disorder so I had to learn a LOT about what helps and what doesn't. I think it's also important to remember that what helped you then might not help you now. As you change, your coping mechanisms might change too and that's perfectly okay! xxx

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    1. Thanks lovely! Yes, I completely agree, coping mechanisms do change over time xx

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  17. I have anxiety too, especially a fear of social situations. Like you say, I find pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone really helps me overcome the fear. It's hard to pluck up the coverage to do it, but I always feel a sense of relief when things aren't as bad as I first thought!x

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    1. I'm with you there! Glad you're able to step our of your comfort zone and face your fears x

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  18. Really useful tips and advice (I wrote a post about tips and techniques to calm your nerves -- particularly in social situations -- that I use that help me get through those moments). I like that you've shared this as I think it normalizes the fact that so many people struggle with anxiety and there is support out there.

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  19. Exposure therapy is great for long term improvements to your anxiety, I even made a graded exposure work book to help people use this method. I also found letting my anxiety thoughts run there course unchallenged helped as well, as challenging the thoughts just made those thoughts more powerful

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    1. I completely agree with you! I'm the same about letting anxiety thoughts run their course xx

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  20. Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears.... this can be very difficult. But, I agree that eventually it will make you less anxious about certain things in your life. Really helpful tips - thanks for sharing!

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  21. This is so inspiring to read! I deeefinitely think exposure therapy is so helpful for learning to cope with anxiety - I used to get really panicky around tubes too and forcing myself to use them really helped me to conquer that xx

    mia // https://beautiful-inspiring-creative-life.com/

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    1. Thanks lovely! I'm so glad it worked for you xx

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  22. Wow, awesome post! I've struggled with anxiety myself, it got really bad at a certain point in my life and a lot of these tips you mention actually did help a great bit!
    Thanks for sharing this, I can only imagine it will help a lot of people!
    xx Janine
    https://walkinmysneaks.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, I'm so glad these tips helped you xx

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  23. These are some amzing and useful tips... thanks for sharing dear :-)
    Beauty and Fashion/Rampdiary/Glamansion

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  24. This is such a helpful post, thank you for sharing! I agree 100% that surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people is absolutely key to overcoming anxiety, as negative and draining people will only make you more anxious. Supportive friends are worth their weight in gold!

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  25. Hey dear i loved your blog and also te post.
    I struggle with anxiety myself and its a fight every single day! hanks for the tips <3 STAY SAFE <3
    i already followed and i want invite you to visit and follow mine back if you want <3

    www.pimentamaisdoce.blogspot.com

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  26. These are great tips - anxiety is horrible and so isolating! xx

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  27. These are some great suggestions. I completely agree that surrounding yourself with the right people is so important.

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  28. It’s so important to sit down and think about what makes you anxious! Then you can take good steps to move forward!

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  29. Great post, I can definitely relate to this 100% and only now have started to work on my triggers and trying to calm my mind and get out my head more.

    Thanks for sharing and big well done for your progress so far! xx

    Tarryn Leigh | www.tarrynleigh.com

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  30. Understanding my triggers and knowing what helps to make it better has helped me a lot. These are great tips!
    xoxo
    Lovely
    www.mynameislovely.com

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  31. great tips! i have to admit i suffer a lot from anxiety thanks to covid, lockdown etc.. its so frustrating to live a normal life right now. I appreciate your tips ♥

    www.melissahartford.blogspot.com
    Melissa Hartford | lifestyle & fashion blogger
    Instagram

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm sorry to hear that, I hope this helps xx

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  32. Such a lovely post with some great tips! I'm sure a lot of us will find these helpful, so thank you for sharing. :)

    xoxo Olivia | http://www.oliviaandbeauty.com

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  33. These are really good tips. I've been working through anxiety this year and definitely think putting yourself out of your comfort zone works. Also only surround yourself with the right people for you. Thanks for sharing your story.

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    1. Thank you lovely! I'm really glad that worked for you xx

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  34. Great tips! This is such a helpful post, especially in these times. Surrounding yourself with the right people was my favorite tip, as I found that works the best for me

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    1. Thank you! I'm really glad that worked for you xx

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  35. Thank you so much for writing this post, Della. I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety but I have a gut feeling that I have it because I get panic reactions to certain situations or sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, think 1 thought and then get a panic attack. I like your tip about discovering my triggers so that I can understand the cause better. Sometimes I feel like it's the actual fear that I'm afraid of - if that makes any sense. Thanks again. I'll be going back to this post when I need to be reminded of what I can do to overcome my anxiety.

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  36. Great post! I too deal with anxiety and I've found healthy ways to cope with it :)

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  37. I defo need this! Thank you so much for this helpful post, Della. I've been working through my mental health this month and definitely need to take some rest from heavy stuff. The good thing is I always surround myself with the right people :D

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  38. Brilliant advice. I think in particular knowing what your triggers are is HUGELY beneficial. Its a difficult journey but if you can understand what triggers you, you can work on avoiding or conquering them x

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  39. I have worked with some cbd brands and they do have some great benefits to using cbd products. You have shared a great review. Thank you for sharing.

    Lauren

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