Well hello to you my reader chums! The older I get, the more I realise that not everyone has the same priorities in life as me and that's okay. Being an adult is busy; we all have relationships and responsibilities whether it's a demanding career or a family to look after. Staying friends with people or keeping strong family connections can be tough, and take a toll on your mental health overall.

I love to give so much to others, spend quality time with people and help in any way. However, I realised how much this takes out of me, especially the time and energy I was giving to toxic people or those who didn't really appreciate me and my time. It's a hard pill to swallow but once I learned about the 'let them' theory, everything fell into place.

If you're a people pleaser, here is my take on the 'let them' theory and how I've embraced it in my life.

What is the let them' theory?

I originally saw the 'let them' theory from Mel Robbins and it's about 'letting them' do whatever they want to do to create more control and emotional peace for you and your life. It also can help you navigate and create better relationships with people in your life.

If you have a friend who never puts in the effort or a family member you're always going to the lengths of the earth for and doesn't appreciate or respect you, this theory can do wonders in your life.

How have I embraced the 'let them' theory?

Embracing the 'let them' theory hasn't been an easy one, but over time, I'm getting better and better at putting it in place. 

The biggest way I've embraced is stopping texting people first, which may sound silly but I realised how I'm the sole reason why a lot of relationships in my life have continued - as I was always the one reaching out and making plans to see that person or check-in.

I realised by stepping back from different people, I had more energy to put into the people who were making the effort with me and growing those relationships further. It also gave me the time and energy to care for the most important relationship: the one with myself.

I think growing up as a people pleaser, keeping friends or trying to help everyone, thinking about their needs, instead of my own has had a detrimental effect on my mental health - and why 'the 'let them' theory is the best thing to happen to me. 

Embracing 'let them' theory has:

• Allowed me to work on my own personal boundaries
• Reduce the 'people pleaser, in me
• Learn who the negative influences in my life
• Learn who reciprocates my energy
• Learn how different people work with communication
• Prioritise myself and my needs
• Understand more about the power of friendships and who has my back
• Understand more where my priorities and life goals fall
• Gain more respect for myself and my time