Learning to be your authentic self and why it's so important

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Many of us go through life without expressing who we really are. This could be down to fear of not fitting in, being alone, or the judgment of what others may think of us, and honestly, it makes me sad. All of us deserve to live our life as our authentic selves and express who we really are - it's human nature. 

Self-discovery is a process and every day, we learn more about ourselves, it's all part of the journey that is life - and it means, with every step, you'll grow and shape into the person you're meant to be.

If you're struggling with your identity or scared to express how you truly are, here are my best tips on learning to be your authentic self.

Learning to be your authentic self

Self-acceptance

The first step to coming to terms with your authentic self is to accept who you are. These are your flaws, your favourite features, what you love, what you hate, and really what makes you, you. We're all individuals and it's important for us to express that part of ourselves as there is no point in being a clone of one another.

With self-acceptance, you'll be able to come to terms with who you are, learn to be okay with it, and love yourself more. And then, you'll be comfortable enough in yourself to express your authentic self to the world and those around you. Life is a journey of self-discovery and it's important to also note, you don't have to figure out and accept yourself overnight, it's a process.

Think about the people you surround yourself with

Who we surround ourselves with can have a big impact on the way we view ourselves and our life, and that's why it's important to surround yourself with people who support you, rather than bring you down. If you're surrounded by positive people and those who will love you for being who you truly are then you'll be able to learn to be your authentic self and live freely with your identity.

The right type of people will never judge you for being your authentic self and will want you to embrace all that is you. 'You're never too much for the right person' - this quote goes along these lines as someone who loves you whether platonically or romantically, will never think you're too much for being who you truly are.

Growing your self-confidence

With self-acceptance, comes confidence as you can start to live your life fully as you. Because you're aligning with your true self, confidence and happiness will naturally pull through, but it also means it's a great starting point on building your self-confidence more and learning to love yourself. Self-confidence doesn't happen overnight but expressing who you are, will give you the opportunity to follow up that confident path easier - trust me. It's easier to feel comfortable in your skin when you're being your authentic self, rather than conforming to what other people want you to be.

Expressing yourself in how you dress and look

Fashion is a funny old thing. Growing up, I always wanted to wear what was trendy or in style to fit in with everyone around me and look 'cool', but really it made me more unhappy as I wasn't being truly me. As I've gotten older, I've started to wear the clothes that were more me and look more like myself if that makes sense.

By expressing yourself through your image, you will also learn to be more confident in who you are and love your true self also. If you're nervous about this type of expression, start it off gradually making small changes to your clothes/appearance until you can fully embrace your true self in an exterior manner.

Pursuing your true passions

I always say to do what makes you happy in every aspect of life and that includes your hobbies and career. Not all of us are born with an 'I want to be this' attitude, but we all have those hobbies or activities which make our hearts soar - and that's what you should be focusing on. By pursuing your true passions, whether they're in work or play, you'll learn more about your authentic self and start to enjoy life a whole lot more.

Doing it anyway

We all have doubts about ourselves and question what we do, it's only natural and a part of human nature. However, part of being your authentic self and not caring what people think is having that no caring attitude and doing it anyway. This could mean quitting a job that isn't bringing you happiness, wearing a risky outfit, or cutting yourself out of a friendship group. The thing that is preventing you from being the real you, do it anyway.

Live for your beliefs and values

Not everybody has the same beliefs and values in life and that's okay, but it doesn't mean you need to change yours to fit in. The right sort of people will surround you for your beliefs and values and it's important to stick by them as they feed into who you are and what your authentic self is about.

We all have different backgrounds and upbringing and these are factors that shape who we are and we shouldn't have to change or be embarrassed by it. Learn to embrace it and accept your beliefs and values are a part of you to be able to live your true self.

Creating a safe space for others to be their true self

I'm one of those people to try and assure everyone that I can be a safe space for them as I would never want anyone to feel like they can't be themselves around be or express who they really are. We're all unique and deserve to live our lives that way, and that's why it's important to create a safe zone for your family and friends so they don't feel like they have to be someone else around you. They should be able to come to you being who they are and expressing their feelings with no judgment. 

Obviously, we can't all get on with everyone and that's okay, but for the important people in your life, ensure that when they're with you, they know you'll support and reassure them in every possible way.

Why is it so important?

Being your authentic self is important for many reasons. It's important firstly because as humans we deserve to learn to be all that is us and love exactly who we are. But also, once you're on the level of loving your true self, you'll find you live more authentically in everything you do and only do things that align with the values of what you really want.

Being your authentic self can help you have a more positive mindset for your life and goals and will help you radiate towards everything that is right for you. Life is way too short to not live your full potential as you. You are unique, you are amazing and you are beautiful just by being you. There's no point trying to be someone else, that spot is already taken.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Do you have any other tips?

Thank you for reading <3

71 comments

  1. Oh Della, I love this post! It's always best to be our true, authentic self. We're all unique, so why not embrace it? Thanks for sharing x

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  2. This is so important, I love it! We need to embrace who we are otherwise I think it can be so hard to be happy in ourselves. Thank you for sharing x

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  3. Another great post!

    For myself I found as I got older I built my self confidence by overcoming challenges in my life. Sometimes we get too comfortable in situations that really don't serve us, such as you mentioned jobs that don't make us happy or friend groups that truly don't support us..

    By taking on and overcoming challenges in life such as achieving goals and walking away from situations that weren't for me I learned to admire and appreciate myself. And that poured into acceptance of my appearance, values, thoughts etc.

    Thank you for sharing!
    - Gigi Lee | https://www.guidancebygigi.com

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    1. Thank you so much!! I'm so glad to hear that xx

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  4. Liked it as always Della. And that says, surround yourself with those who support you. That's really important I agree. And it does boost your confidence too. And from another shoes creating a safe zone for people is a true trait one can carry apply and use. Liked that you covered all angles! Good job xx
    Isa A. Blogger
    https://bit.ly/39f9FN0

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  5. Great post! Being true to yourself is so important. The minute you start living for as others see you, life can become so lackluster and depressing. Thanks for sharing your tips.

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  6. I really enjoyed this post because I was thinking about this a lot lately. I even made a YT video explaining those thoughts. I feel like this year of being mainly home has pushed me towards being my authentic self and I really like how you expressed this💜

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  7. These are some great tips for people who are struggling to get peace of mind. I often find myself feeling down. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  8. I love this post. There's been so many times I've altered who I am to fit into a crowd that probably wouldn't appreciate the real me!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  9. Great tips!! Accepting ourselves it could be little difficult but it's very important. Thank you for sharing it!

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  10. Fantastic read. It is important to recognize our real self and accept it. Thanks for sharing

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  11. Wonderful post lovely! Authenticity is something I've been working really hard on this year so far. I didn't realise how important it was until I started to work on it!

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    1. Thank you so much, I'm so happy to hear this xx

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  12. Such an amazing post! Learning to be your authentic self definitely takes time but it is so worth working on.

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

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  13. I love all the positivity in this post! The importance of showing your authentic self cannot be overstated. Thanks for sharing!

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  14. Thank you so much for this, many times I’ve tried to fit in pretending to be who I’m not. It never worked out cuz I was unhappy not expressing my true self. Being your authentic self is definitely worth it. Thanks for sharing

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  15. This post is so important, especially for young adults!

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  16. These are such lovely tips, Della! SO important especially for people navigating their 20's xx

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

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  17. It's a great post. Life is more fun, realistic, and lifelike when we are cherishing our true selves and natures.
    Thanks, Della xx

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  18. This is a lovely post Della! It is more important than ever to be your authentic and true self at the moment. While I must admit that it can be easy to try and be like someone else, we would only be able to be the best version of ourselves when we decide to be ourselves and ourselves only.

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  19. Wonderful post, as always. Authenticity is something I look for in other people and it's also something I try to be as much as possible. Its such an important quality and when you find it in someone, you should keep them in your life!

    Rosie

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  20. This is a great post. I always try to be the "real" me. I do lack self confidence and as I have put weight on, I don't dress how I would normally, I am currently a jeans and t-shirt girl. This is something I am working on.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad to hear you're working on yourself xx

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  21. thank you for sharing this! the part about surrounding myself with positive people really resounded with me. it's so easy to forget that who we are is often affected by who we choose to be with.

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  22. This is such an uplifting post, Della! I agree with all your points - a massive one is who I spend time with, choosing friends that reflect my values makes a massive difference! xx

    mia // https://beautiful-inspiring-creative-life.com/

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  23. These are awesome ideas to get to know yourself more. These are helpful to those who feel lost. It's all about honesty and experimentation. Find what makes you happy and what gives you positive energy. Thanks for sharing!

    www.lifebeginsattwenty.com

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  24. Such a lovely and well thought out post about body positivity.

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  25. I completely agree with you that the people we hang out with have a huge impact on us. I'm almost always a positive, happy person but I noticed I always leave feeling down when I hang out with a certain friend of mine. It really does matter who you spend time with.

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  26. I completely agree with you that the people we hang out with have a huge impact on us. I'm almost always a positive, happy person but I noticed I always leave feeling down when I hang out with a certain friend of mine. It really does matter who you spend time with.

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  27. It's really so true that pursuing our true passions helps us show our authentic self! And I think people can also notice and see how happy and passionate we are about our interests. And I agree that who we surround ourselves with also plays a role in helping us show our true selves, especially when we find that group of friends that encourage us to be ourselves without judgement :)

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  28. I completely agree with this! Being your true authentic self is so very important!

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  29. Oh I love this post so much! SO agree with pursuing our true passions - I don't let anyone to force me to do something that I hate. So I'm very grateful that my parents understand that. I have always been so authentic with myself so it's great to read this post of yours. Thanks for sharing x

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  30. I truly agree with everything you’ve said here. It’s all so important. And it’s all a lifelong lesson too. Sometimes I excel at self acceptance and being myself and then I’m put in new situations where I have to learn all over again. It’s a worthwhile journey, that’s for sure!

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  31. This is such an important topic and I love that you have included so many great tips. Learning to love yourself flaws and all is definitely a good place to start. You have to work with what you've been given and not compare yourself to others.

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  32. I quite agree with your idea, we are all different individuals, so we should not change anything for others, do the best of ourselves, this is the best
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  33. This is so important and you gave great tips! Accepting who you are is one of the best ones and great start for learning your authentic self. Great post! xx
    TheQuietGirl | www.quietgirlblog.com

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  34. Doing ourself is important for everyone.
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  35. Oh, how I wish I read this in my 20s! Not that the 30s are any easier with accepting myself as I am, but at least it would be covered by now somehow! As usual a great post full of all the info Della, thank you for sharing it x

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  36. Great post my blogger friends. have a nice day .
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  37. Brilliant post and really helpful as I used to struggle (and still do sometimes) with accepting myself and just being me.

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