How to learn to love yourself | my tips and tricks

 Well hello to you my reader chums! Self-love is SO important, probably the most important thing when it comes to your mental health and looking after yourself. As it's so important, it's also something that isn't easy to practice or think highly of yourself. It's only human to have self-doubts, compare yourself, or want to change something about you. However, we were all put on this earth as individuals, and it's important to realise you are truly wonderful as you, and only you.

How to learn to love yourself  | my tips and tricks

My journey for self-love is certainly a long one and falls into my self-confidence and body confidence journey also. It took me years to accept my flaws and really, fall in love with myself, and have the confidence that actually I'm a great person. 

Whether you're having a bad day or finding it difficult to learn to love yourself (even though you are so fab), here are some tips which helped me.

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else

Comparison is the killer of all joy in every sense, and this screams volumes when it comes to self love. When I sit and scroll on my Instagram feed, it's hard not to sit and say 'she looks so perfect, her life is so perfect.' But, what I always then try to remind myself is that social media in general is a highlight reel of everyone's life and a place where people share the good things. With that in mind, instead of saying those things, write a compliment to that person and hype them up. I can assure you, it'll make their day and make you smile too. Boosting other people up will fall back on you, and naturally, you'll learn to boost yourself up the same way.

To stop comparing yourself, flip your view on its head and start complimenting yourself the way you did to the person you compare yourself to. Write those things down and read them to yourself every day, and add to the list over and over, until you have a long list of things to read and recite. These affirmations will really help change your mindset on how you view yourself and others.

Focus on your achievements

Leading on from comparing yourself to others, this goes on focusing your achievements. We can often get so distracted with how well other people are doing that we tend to forget how great we are and everything we've achieved. Praise your achievements and congratulate yourself for what you've achieved, the way you do for others. This can be a career move, saving for a house deposit, or simply making a banging dinner. It doesn't matter what it is, you deserve to be celebrated.

Be your own hype girl

I love this point especially as it's so important. The number of times I like to say, 'I'm a 10/10' or 'I'm great' a week has to be quite a few. And, it's not to say I'm big-headed, it's just a way of reminding myself that I've spent years working to this level of confidence that I'll remind myself I am great. If you can't be your own hype girl, then who will? 

Don't rely on other people's love

You can't love someone else until you love yourself, and that's why so many toxic relationships exist, as one or both of the couple are insecure in themselves. You need to be at some level of self-assurance and self-love before you fall for someone else, as you can't rely on them for your happiness. Your happiness comes from within and together you should add to each other's happiness, not solely rely on it.

Practice being by yourself and not relying on others to make you happy in terms of how you view yourself. Have film nights alone, go for a coffee, and generally, spend a lot of time with yourself to figure out who you really are, accept and love that person.

Do things that make you happy

When you're doing things you love, you're happy and by being happy, you'll learn to love you. That may sound a bit strange, but the sensation of being happy goes hand in hand to how you view yourself and your life. So, by acting on hobbies or working at a job you love, your day will be filled with more positivity and you'll view yourself in a positive light - and learn to love who you are.

Surround yourself with good people

Even though learning to love yourself has to come from within, your environment can have an effect on that. For example, by surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, you'll aspire to be more like them and work on yourself, and in turn, love who you are. And, by making the choices of hanging out with good people, it shows how highly you value yourself as a person.

Remember, it's okay to have bad days

Learning to love yourself is a journey in a lot of ways because even though, you will get to a point where you love who you are, there will be days where you will doubt and second guess yourself. And this is okay, more than okay. You can't be on top of the world all the time, it's not human. So on the days, you're not feeling great, just remember it's a blip and it's okay to feel that way - and pick yourself back up when you're feeling more like you.

Failure doesn't make you any less of a person

In life, we're all going to fail at something and it's those failures and mistakes which make us stronger and achieve everything we want to. When you have a hit in life and things aren't going your way, just remember, it doesn't make you any less of a human, really, it makes you human. Failure is a part of life and you will be successful - you can be anything you want to be.

I hope you enjoyed this post. What other tips do you have for loving yourself?

Thank you for reading <3

59 comments

  1. I really enjoyed the positivity in this post and I absolutely agree with what you’ve said! Thanks for sharing!

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  2. This is such a great post! It's taken me a while to learn how to love myself and it's amazing how much of a impact the people around you have. I've learn that you need to get rid of people who don't love you for who you are, whether thats your friends or people you follow on social media x

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    1. Thank you lovely!! Yes that's so true, I completely agree with you xx

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  3. This post is an amazing reminder on self love! "Don't rely on other people's love" is definitely something that I struggled with in the past and truly believe that once you fully embrace this, is the key to self confidence! xo

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  4. A very thoughtful post! I had struggles to own myself and this is a great reminder.
    xoxo
    Lovely
    www.mynameislovely.com

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  5. Amazing post and I completely agree. Sometimes it can get difficult but you can always go back to loving yourself.

    www.fashionradi.com

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  6. Self love is so important and I completely agree with all of your tips. These are very important. Thank you for sharing.

    New Post - https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2020/10/madison-look-up-makeup-mirror.html

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  7. I am the worst for comparing myself to others and it is so so so unhealthy for me! I actively try not to do it but it must be hard wired into my brain!

    This is a lovely post to read, thank you for sharing!

    Rosie

    https://www.loverosiee.co.uk

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    1. Same with me, it's something you need to train yourself out of. Thanks lovely! xx

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  8. Good tips! I do these things too to practice self love. Thank you for sharing your positive energy with me.

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  9. I loved this post - completely agree with these tips :) especially the one about failure and being less of a person x

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  10. Truly believe these are all incredible points. Loving ourselves is a every day process (: thank you for your post! - http://papermintbooks.com/

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  11. Loving the positivity and helpful reminders. This society makes getting caught up so easy and really living our best lives is truly so simple. I appreciate all this self love energy
    xo Bri

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  12. It's true you can't love someone else until you love yourself. There are many people who could benefit from this message and the positivity in your post. I really enjoyed reading this. All the best to you!

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  13. This is one of the best and most inspiring post I have read so far!!! It has made me feel really positive and want to love myself a bit more. Thank you for your great post❤️

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    1. Aw thank you so much, that comment has made my day! xx

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  14. I love this!! College really helped me grow to love myself, even with my flaws... It is so important to your mental health for sure! Thanks for sharing!
    Jenna ♥
    Stay in touch? Life of an Earth Muffin

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    1. Thank you so much lovely! I'm so glad you've grown to love yourself xx

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  15. Yes to all of these points girl! It's so important to not compare yourselves to others, even though that is easier said than done! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  16. You've mentioned some great tips. Not comparing yourself to others is difficult and is something I need to work on myself.

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    1. Thank you lovely! I think not comparing yourself is the hardest thing to tackle xx

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  17. I agree with all the points you have mentioned, especially the one about not being able to love someone else in a relationship until you love yourself. Just came across your blog and I love what you write about!

    Esterella| esterella.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much lovely!! That means a lot xx

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  18. Eight thoughtful reminders about how to learn to love yourself. I love that you said 'you can't be on top of the world all of the time'. A great reminder that it is okay not to feel okay all of the time. Wonderful post, thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thank you so much, I’m glad you liked the post!! Xx

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  19. This is such a great post! It's so important to love yourself!

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  20. Hi, Della. This is such an important issue that has recently come up in many of my conversations. Thanks for breaking self-love down into manageable steps. I love "be your own hype girl!" So good!

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  21. Comparing myself to others is a big one. I've gotten better at being okay in my skin as I've gotten older, but I used to really struggle with that one. It is also important to surround yourself with people who build you up and allow you to be yourself. Great post!

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    1. I'm so glad you've learnt to love yourself, thank you xx

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  22. I love this, such an important post and some fab tips! Love the idea of being your own hype girl, deffs something I need to remember!!

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  23. This is such an important post! Thank you for sharing, you've given some amazing tips :)

    Sophie
    www.thatpalerose.blogspot.com

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  24. Such a great post with amazing tips! There are many people in the same position and will benefit from this!

    https://betterdays-betterlife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much, I hope it helps some people!!

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  25. Yes, yes, yes, yes, x10 yes! I love all of these points. I've been on a huge journey of self love and discovery over the past year so I've definitely learned all of these lessons. Learning that self love isn't linear is so important and accepting that you will have down days but that's OKAY is so vital x

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    1. Aw I'm so glad!! Thank you so much for your lovely comment xxx

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  26. I love all of these points! There are so many amazing tips in here.

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  27. I actually really needed this post, I love this so much! Failure happens and it's something we all have and grow from. I'm trying to surround myself with positive and motivated people both online and in my life so that rubs off on me. Thanks so much for writing this.

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    1. Thank you so much, I'm really glad it helped you!! xx

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  28. Amazing post! Agree with absolutely everything that you said and this post radiates positivity. I need to stop comparing myself to others, it's something I'm working on but not quite there yet!

    Tash // A Girl with a View

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    1. Thank you so much! I think stop comparing yourself is really hard to do but hope you're able to get there one day xx

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  29. Really good post. It's really important to love oneself and the tips you shared are great. We don't have to compare ourselves to any other person and just do things that makes us happy.

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  30. Such a great post, I agree with everything you said.I've struggled with self love for a while and I'm slowly getting better. Really appreciate this post ❤

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  31. Fantastic advise Della, all of it! It sounds like you've learned so much on your self love journey. Thank you for sharing the wisdom!

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